The Body

[00:00:00] Maureen: I’m Maureen Whitehouse.

[00:00:01] Christian: And I’m Christian Camarena.

[00:00:03] Maureen: And this is Miracle Renegade.

[00:00:05] Christian: A podcast for you. Al l right, so today we’re going to talk about the body.

[00:00:08] Maureen: Mm.

[00:00:09] Christian: This is a topic that, uh, I’ve had a strange relationship with. I actually lost like 120 pounds five, six years ago.

[00:00:19] Maureen: I never knew that. that

[00:00:20] Christian: Yeah. It was just through diet and exercise. But, uh, during that, obviously, it was more than the weight. It wasn’t just about the diet. It was about my mindset, um, how I viewed food. How I viewed my life. And pretty much my relationship to myself. So I want to ask: what’s the role of the body?

[00:00:43] Maureen: Yeah, great question.

At best the body is a vehicle for communication. It’s also a reminder that we’re in the world of duality, the “this and that”, whenever we’re focused on the body. And so it brings us to situations in life and, at best, we’re realizing that our body is this vehicle that allows us to show up and communicate and to connect. And if we didn’t have a body, then we’d be pretty much in an objective, completely, entirely, objective state where we’re viewing everything as one. But as soon as we put on this perspective of an individual, and we’re seeing life through that lens, it gives us an orientation that’s very unique and individual to each and every one of us. It would really behoove us to recognize that each person has their own perspective on what’s going on here, and their own valuable experiences that they’ve had within their physical body. You know, you have the experience of a man. I have the experience of a woman. I can’t possibly know what it’s like to have been in your body

your

whole life long.

[00:01:51] Christian: Yeah

[00:01:51] Maureen: But through appreciation and communication and connection, I have the opportunity, if I’m not judgmental,

to

become aware of things that you’re experiencing in your life and when you appreciate someone else’s experience, the diversity of life, the vast diversity between individuals and human beings, then you get a chance to live things here in much more abundance than if you only focused on the “I, me my” perspective.

[00:02:24] Christian: Hm

[00:02:25] Maureen: So it’s really a gift that we have all these different shapes and forms and sizes and orientations and genders because that allows for us, if we’re curious and interested and that brings us to a place of connectivity, then it allows for us to have multitudes of experience. Even though there’s only one of us. Apparently one of us.

[00:02:49] Christian: Oh. So what you’re saying is if I see another person, I can’t live through their eyes, but they can at least teach me what it might feel like?

[00:02:59] Maureen: And notice that that can only happen if you’re really open, genuinely open, and receptive and nonjudgmental

[00:03:06] Christian: Mm.

[00:03:06] Maureen: So no one can put themselves in someone else’s shoes unless they’re invited in, in an intimate way. Who invites people in who are judgmental?

[00:03:17] Christian: Yeah.

[00:03:18] Maureen: You And so you don’t get a chance to see someone else’s perspective or have those multitudes of opportunities that you get when you’re genuinely interested and enjoy connecting with people. The more diverse the better.

[00:03:31] Christian: Hm.

[00:03:32] Maureen: And then that kind of a life becomes full and rich – which leads me to the whole dieting question. When you are nonjudgmental and you have that kind of full rich life, you’re much less inclined to try to feel full through superficial ways. Most of us were taught that, you know, a full belly feels full. And so when we’re seeking fullness in life, then we go for food. way of – it’s really truly one of those most powerful symbols of connectivity. Look, you consume it, it becomes you. It becomes incorporated into your physical body. And so a lot of people, when they’re feeling lost or alone or separate you know, maybe they had parents who had a very myopic view of what was acceptable or not acceptable, or a society in a town where they grew up in, where people were very much, you know, protective… then it makes our world much smaller. And, and look at life – if you really were looking at the vastness of it objectively – there’s so much. We know there’s so much to live, to learn to love. And yet if we cut ourselves off into this little tiny mode of operandum, it can’t feel fulfilling. So if we’re feeling guilty or judgmental, then we’re going to have a smaller world. You’re judgmental of things that you actually project upon other people from a small minded place and you’re guilty when you turn that inward on yourself. They’re two sides of the same coin. Neither of those two states of being can coexist with love or connection. So they have to be ego-driven states. So I would say, for anybody who is up for it right now, I’m going to give you a little challenge. To notice that any time – I’m going to make a blanket statement here, 100% truth – anytime you’re in judgment, you’re wrong.

[00:05:35] Christian: Hm.

[00:05:36] Maureen: Anytime. And so many of us have gotten conditioned to feel that as a normal, average state of being. It’s self protective, it keeps us safe and secure. Our judgements are what keep us who we are actually.

[00:05:52] Christian: Yeah.

[00:05:53] Maureen: So that’s that small identity being even more ingrained and more- more running the show.

[00:06:00] Christian: Yeah, I would say that everything that I have judged, I have become somehow, you know? It’s like, that unhappiness definitely followed me around.

[00:06:11] Maureen: So let’s think about the thoughts you were thinking at the time you probably were very unaware of and that most people are unaware of. Think about the weightiness of them. Think of how hard it is to feel like you have to do this all alone. Or that nobody understands. Or that you were left out. Or you were dropped. Or “Look at them” versus ” Look at me.” And that little world makes us feel like we want to expand out of it. Our natural state of being, the soul’s perspective, is expansive, naturally expands. We’re always going to be evolving the cutting edge of life. We always will as a species. Every species is always going to be evolving the cutting edge of life. So if we think anything Is just stuck or stayed or, uh, final? Then we’re slowing down our own capacity to create, to envision, to dream, to become big and expansive in life. And so feel another thing that – how interesting, sort of poetic justice – when you eat too much trying to look for that outer fulfillment that you’re not tapping into by connectivity within, then you’re going to expand, but it’ll be your physical body that’s because that’s what you’re feeding, not your soul. The part of us that we can’t see, but that we know and feel so deeply that we want to be connected with. that we really, truly know – all of us. Even if you have no faith in anything whatsoever, you know, you feel there must be something more than this at times in your life. There must be something more than this. That’s the voice of expansion.

It knows. That there’s always going to be something more. It’s never going to end. It’s eternal.

[00:08:01] Christian: Yeah, and definitely when I was younger, I would attach that feeling to from the outside to that there’s always going to be more from the outside.

[00:08:12] Maureen: Or sometimes people will be thinking there’s always going to be less, you know, “everybody else will have the more but me.” And so that makes us covet things. Or overeat we feel like, well, if this is a pleasurable thing, it causes me to feel a sense of comfort and safety and pleasure, then I better get as much of this as I can because at any moment the other shoe’s going to drop.

[00:08:33] Christian: Mm yeah.

[00:08:34] Maureen: The we have with eating and with food is really the relationship we have with ourselves. So how does that feel to you, hearing that when you look back at that time of your life? Were you feeling, you know, lost or confused, or were you feeling less than fulfilled? Or was it just maybe that the people who brought you up didn’t know that there was a deeper sense of longing or, or need for fulfillment in you and maybe weren’t steering you in a direction that was as free or as expansive as you wanted to be?

[00:09:08] Christian: I would tell you it was a, a little bit of all of those things. I mean with anything with depression, it’s never just one thing. You’re not sad about one thing. It’s pretty much like a waterfall of everything.

[00:09:20] Maureen: Ok so now I’m going to give you a new approach to that. It’s absolutely about one thing.

[00:09:27] Christian: Oh – what is it?

[00:09:27] Maureen: There’s only one problem and one solution. If you’re connected to who you truly are, you’re deeply connected and feel that you’re tapped in to that wellspring of abundance that we all have within us the – soul of us that came in with our first breath, and it’ll leave with our last breath – that deeper inner being of us, if you’re connected with that being, it’s the voice of your own best interest. It prompts you where to go, what to do, what to say, and to whom it, it lights up the path. That’s the easiest path of least resistance.

[00:10:04] Christian: Hm.

[00:10:05] Maureen: But when we’re disconnected? Everything seems like it’s a problem, a challenge. There’s like 10,000 things that are wrong. Which one do you address first? And as soon as you address that one, there’s another one right behind it. It’s like trying to plug the leak in the waterfall. Like you said, it looks like there are a lot of things going on, but truly it’s much, much, much easier than that. One problem, one solution.

[00:10:29] Christian: Connection?

[00:10:30] Maureen: Yep.

[00:10:31] Christian: Yeah. I would, say I was a loner at the time too. I isolated myself.

[00:10:34] Maureen: So you were disconnecting on the outside from people. How were you disconnecting on the inside? Cause some people, you know, monks go into the experience of being a hermit, deliberately.

Cuz they want to connect deeply inside. But where were you in that experience?

[00:10:49] Christian: I was actually traveling that road. I, I remember when I was 17 or 18 I had an interest in Buddhism. And so I read this book, it was like some Barnes and Noble book, I hadn’t done any research whatsoever, , I was caught in indifference. So…

[00:11:06] Maureen: The name of the book?

[00:11:07] Christian: No, they were, it was just – that, that’s what I was feeling at time.

[00:11:12] Maureen: Ok.

[00:11:14] Christian: So I, I…

[00:11:15] Maureen: So you mean, like, did Buddhism make you feel that you should be detached? Cause that’s often what from Buddhism.

[00:11:21] Christian: Yes. Especially with no one explaining the higher concepts to me.

[00:11:26] Maureen: Because if – it’s so true – be detached from the outer world, but to do that first before you’re connected?

[00:11:33] Christian: Yeah. It’s very dangerous

[00:11:34] Maureen: Almost impossible. And yes, feeling as though it’s precarious and dangerous to do.

[00:11:39] Christian: Yeah so I struggled with that. But I would say that I disconnected from within as well. Yeah. Like, I didn’t really talk to my family all that much. I didn’t hold a lot of friends. It was probably the worst time of my life.

[00:11:54] Maureen: It would be because you just described disconnecting from love. Which is the essence of the soul, which is the essence of what came in with our first breath and will leave with our last. Like look at a blissful baby who’s had a pretty contented beginning of their life. They’re just joy spontaneously. They’re just bliss spontaneously. That’s the essential nature of us. In living color, in a human body. That’s why people love babies so much. That’s why people love animals so much, because they come up to you with such expectation that, “Oh, here’s love meeting love.” They just know it’s a connection of love. They also know innately Innately unconditional love which we all know, but then deny because we get so “smart.” We get so capable of defending against love in life and micromanaging how it comes to us or doesn’t come to us, that we put all these conditions on it, and then there’s no opportunity for unconditional love to arrive. That’s what a baby holds. That’s what a pet or an animal holds, that unconditional essence that doesn’t have any reason that you have to perform for it. It’s just there and available. So feel that though. At the time in your life when you were feeling more like you were layering, putting on layers of self protection, if you were to go back in time now, what were you protecting from at the time? I mean, there’s so many things that a young vital person can be protecting from in this society, but individually, what do you think you might’ve been protecting from?

[00:13:39] Christian: I, I, I know for sure I was protecting myself from failure.

[00:13:46] Maureen: And, and is that something you could have named, what failure would look like at the time or was just this overarching, looming idea or concept of

[00:13:55] Christian: Yeah. It was almost like all encompassing. It was like, uh, every breath, I needed to be perfect in order to get to a place where I’m not going to fail.

[00:14:06] Maureen: And can you see how much that relates to the concept of death? Because failure, in that sense, is a finality. It’s the end. But look at life. There is no such thing. You could fail and fall on your face a thousand times and still get up and learn something amazing from that experience that you bring into the next moment, and excel at the next experience you have just because of that failure. And the soul knows this. It sees us with such a vision of appreciation. That, “How brave of you! That’s really challenging to think you’re separate from everything else because you have on that body. I don’t have on the body right now. I’m free and clear and nebulous as a Soul. But I see you as so awesome, cause each and every day you go out into a world where everything appears to be separate, even though you’re one with everything, and you still get up in the morning and do it again and again and again. That is awesome! Now just find joy and fun it.” If you keep seeing it as a challenge, or this big thing done to you, or an adversity, that there are all these differences happening all the time, then you’re going to feel separate from “them”. if you move into it all saying, “Wow, diversity.” Or, “Wow, differences.” Or, “Wow, contrasts. I get to choose from all these contrasts, what I’m going to experience and some will feel good, some won’t feel so good, but live and learn.” this is about. That’s why you’ve got the body. Cause you can feel things. That’s another gift that the body gives us, is the capacity to feel. If you’re one with everything, literally, you can’t feel it because you’re it. It’s just you’re, you’re one with everything. A human can’t conceive of that. That’s what people experience in out of body experiences or when we leave our bodies.

[00:16:06] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:16:07] Maureen: Which does happen! If you were to speak to people who care for terminally ill people, people who work in hospice, they’re going to tell you that they’ve watched people become unencumbered in that process of leaving their body. So many people who don’t go near that experience, you know, with a 10 foot pole because of the fear about it would never have the opportunity to notice how delightful it is for a human to be unencumbered by a physical body. You know how great it is when you lose weight, how much better you feel? This is 10 thousand times better than that because you’ve lost all the weightiness of the thoughts of your mind and all the weightiness of the encumbrances and limitations of a body. But I’m not saying that bodies are not good. I’ll never say that. I am saying that, at best, at the very best, we recognize: we came in with our first breath into this beautiful body that’s going to house us for a lifetime, we’ll leave with our last, and that’s okay because we are an eternal soul and we’ll have multiple experiences beyond just this one finite life. No fear necessary there. Might take a little bit of convincing because societies in the world don’t necessarily put this up front and center as the big thing that we’re all focused on – this liberation, that this is just a small part of our eternal existence. But If you were to come in and have loving people tell you, ” Guess what? Guess what, Christian? You’ve got this body. It’s not all of you. It’s a part of you, and I’ll even tell you, it’s only like 5% of you. It’s not even like the 95% of you that’s genius and amazing, awesome, and creative, and has all these capacities that are not limited just to two eyes, two hands, two feet, two ears. It’s the one thing that’s connected to everything. But guess what? This is even better. You come in with that capacity of this massive, big being – your soul – to love your body. It’s your best friend. It’s going to be with you your entire lifetime. It’s the only best friend that will stick around your entire lifetime. Guaranteed.” How do you treat your best friend?

[00:18:30] Christian: Yeah. I guess, really well.

[00:18:32] Maureen: It should be your first lesson in love. Should be the first lesson that we teach all children. Think about that. What if you were that kid who grew up knowing you had this expansive soul? You’ve got this vehicle of communication called the body. At best it communicates really fun and lovingly and happily with everybody it meets, knowing that every encounter has the possibility of heaven on earth and, not only that, it’s your best friend! It’s going to give you a mirror as to how you’re treating it by how it treats you back.

[00:19:07] Christian: Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about how much I was in my head this morning and, I was just walking. Like, and I was smiling, but for some reason I was thinking about how, like, I have a couple of problems that are coming up and how to solve them. But I didn’t pay attention to the fact that I was smiling because it was just a nice day. Yeah. Like I was just missing the point of what my body was trying to tell me.

[00:19:32] Maureen: And your body is saying, “What a great day! It’s sunny. I love the sun. Feel this on your skin and feel how great it feels to be outside with great smells…” And all of this amazing energy that’s there for your body to feel.

Mmhm.

It is interesting if you watch animals, like on a sunny day, they’re out there doing things to stretch their limbs and their wings and they’re out there singing louder and doing things that let them have the full on experience of whatever’s happening in the moment. And I believe if we thought of ourselves more consistently as our own best friends, that we’d find ourselves being led into more and more delightful situations. Because then our body would respond back to us and then, you know, when you’re walking along the street smiling you wind up having encounters with other people who are on the same wavelength as you. Attract what it is that we’re focused most upon. So go back to the days when you weren’t happy with your weight, any kind of encounters you would have and the kind of situations that would arise and how you would perceive them, maybe as obstacles versus opportunities.

[00:20:53] Christian: Yeah. Um, I wouldn’t look myself in the mirror. So that’s probably the start of the morning. Just avoiding myself and then…

[00:21:02] Maureen: And how was that loving your best friend? I mean, you brush your teeth or comb your hair or wash your face without looking at yourself!

[00:21:09] Christian: Yeah. So you start letting yourself go. You don’t want to look people in the eye in the street. It makes sense, cause it’s kind of feeding into itself, the whole, the whole experience. So if I’m always smiling and then people smile back at me, then I’m just going to smile more because it’s a pleasant thing, you know?

[00:21:26] Maureen: Noticing that you can smile first, actually, And then even if someone doesn’t smile back still, you feel like, well, they must be having a hard day. And so let’s go on to the next. And At least you give the opportunity to connect. If you don’t do that, by the way, your body’s going to react to that. It knows its role is a vehicle of communication. Knows that it came here to communicate and to let you sense and touch and feel life and be part of a massive participation with life itself. And that’s what allows for us to feel that connectivity that connects us to something more. Inwardly, deeply too. So we can use this outer world to connect inwardly as well.

[00:22:14] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:22:15] Maureen: It just means that you show up to experiences connecting with them without attaching to results.

[00:22:21] Christian: Hm.

[00:22:22] Maureen: Every time we attach to a result, there’s a disconnect in our mind if we don’t get the result we want. Which means that we don’t notice the 10,000 other things that might be going on that were much more valuable for us, then the one thing that we wanted to get.

[00:22:37] Christian: Hm. Yeah makes sense.

[00:22:39] Maureen: Yeah!

[00:22:41] Christian: So that’s the road towards a healthy body.

[00:22:45] Maureen: Mmhm.

[00:22:46] Christian: Feeling connected, and paying attention to your, your own best friend.

[00:22:50] Maureen: Your own best friend. It means that you get, also, to notice what are the qualities that you would like in your best friend. Not that you’re coercing yourself or badgering yourself or belittling yourself or judging yourself into a certain form or shape, you know, maybe through exercise or diet. Um, someone said recently that I heard they call it a “livet” instead of a diet when they’re eating what they really love because it’s more expensive and connected to life. So I liked that a lot. So the thing is about this, when you’re connected to that inner voice that’s telling you where to go, what to do, what to say and to whom, it also tells you what to eat that brings you the most joy. You know, I’ve written a couple of books on food and spirituality just because I used it as common ground. I know that lots of people are put off by all kinds of differences in religions or spiritual orientations. But everybody eats. Mmhm So I wanted to get an inroad into this spiritual aspect of us in a way that wasn’t frightening or threatening. And since everyone eats, everyone’s familiar with it. Everyone knows how to take a bite of something and chew it. O r has watched people do that. They’re very familiar with it and they know that it’s not a threatening thing. It’s actually just something that we naturally are doing all day every day. so Eat with love what’s grown with love, prepared with love and served love” is the axiom of books I write about food. Because I know love is the essence of our spirit, what we truly crave and what we find the deepest fulfillment by connecting to. So, if we’re focusing on food all day every day, like most people do, if you equate that with love? Then you’re going to feel full. And I will tell you this, you don’t become judgmental. You become discerning about what it is that feels best for your body. and then you’ll start to notice how it feels while you’re chewing it, if you’re eating it with love. How does it feel? Did it satisfy that thing that I was craving right now. And you’ll notice that your cravings are actually more aligned with the actual thing your body could use at that moment, and it might be a big fat piece of chocolate cake.

[00:25:18] Christian: Yeah.

[00:25:18] Maureen: And if you have it at the moment that you’re really saying I want a piece of cake right now – the texture, the flavor, the sight, the sounds, the everything about it, you use all five senses – it’s one of the only things we can do that will catapult you into your sixth sense. all five senses simultaneously. Most of us don’t do that cause we’re on the run, or on the rush, or not paying attention to our body enough to even notice what our senses are telling us. But if you sat down with any kind of food that you really loved – prepared with love, grown with love, and now you’re eating it with love – and if you really noticed it with all five senses at that moment, it’s a revelatory experience. It truly is, it’s a powerful mindfulness practice.

[00:26:05] Christian: May I ask, has that happened to you?

[00:26:07] Maureen: Yes.

[00:26:08] Christian: What was your dish?

[00:26:09] Maureen: Oh my gosh. I wrote about this in my book, Soul-Full Eating, by the way. It was in Italy. I was in Italy with some friends of mine, and we’d been traveling and we found ourselves in this place Cinque Terre.

And Cinque Terre means five fingers, five lands. So there are five peninsulas that jut out into the ocean and you can walk the different peninsulas, and it’s just gorgeous because it’s on the coast of Italy and it was a beautiful day. And We kept missing meals in Italy because they have that time in the afternoon where everybody closes everything and then goes off and to their own homes, or are they-

And so we kept like – we’re in Italy! We want to eat good food! And we kept having these, ” Wait a minute, everything’s closed! Where are we going to go?” And so we were really paying attention one day because we wanted to eat great food in this kind of setting. We got to this one peninsula, and all the restaurants are packed. There was no place to eat. So we’re like, “Oh, we got there on time, but now it’s packed!” And they only have one seating because then everything does close after that. So we got to one place and the person said, there’s only tables inside. So we went inside and noticed that he had put us right next to this window, floor to ceiling windows, that overlooked the ocean with these beautiful multicolored boats that were bobbing in and out of the water.

And so we asked, can we open the window? And he said, sure. And he flung the windows open, and then this big breeze came in and it was just the perfect Italian setting in this very like rustic, beautiful place to eat. And it was packed, so we knew it was good, but we didn’t know what to have. So we kind of just said, well, everything else is working out great right now. We’re in the flow. So we just said, “What would you eat?” And he said, “I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you the special.”

[00:28:02] Christian: Oh perfect.

[00:28:02] Maureen: he came back and – we at the time, three of us, were largely vegetarian/vegan, And he puts in front of two of us, this bowl of sardines in tomato sauce. So, you know, you’re thinking sardines in tomato sauce? Your best dish?

We took a bite of it, and I’m telling you, it was so delicious that we nearly lifted off our seats. It was all we could do, but two of us took a bite from across the table of each other, and as soon as we did, we just like – it was bursting in our mouths and we – almost fell off our chair laughing because it was so delicious. And we were eating sardines in tomato sauce! Like, who would think that’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten in your life?

We ate it and when he came back, it was like we were drunk. We had like one glass of wine. It wasn’t the wine, it was maybe a quarter of a glass of the wine we drank by that time. But we were literally high on this experience of life that we were having. With the windows open and the breeze is coming in, and then his whole family, this restaurant owner’s whole family, pulls up at a table and there must’ve been 10 or 12 of them and they all started eating their lunch, and they were laughing and joking and having so much fun. And he gets up from his seat and he comes over, he goes, how’s lunch? And we said, it’s literally the best thing we ever ate! And he goes, “Everybody always says that.” He really said that. “Everybody always says that.” And it made us laugh even more. And then he’s going back to his table, he said, “It’s all love. It’s all love.” And, literally, that was the most memorable and amazing meal of my life. I wrote that I had already written about nine tenths of the book, Soul-Full Eating by that time. And I realized it needed a chapter on sharing food, how important and powerful that was as a connector spirit with other people sharing food. There’s really nothing better in life. This, this meal that’s about to become you and you’re all sharing it. Now you’re all connected to the same thing at the same time. That’s what brings this whole feeling of conviviality surface, and it’s our body in its best experiences of life. So I wrote, then, this story in the book to lead the chapter on sharing and it was the best example I could possibly give of eat with love what’s grown with love, prepared with love and served love. How fun for all of us human beings that, on this planet, that’s an activity we all engage in and we can use such a simple activity to connect us so profoundly beyond our individual bodies, but to the soul, the inherit soul in all of us. And, the way, so important, one of the qualities of the soul is fullness. We can’t get that kind of fullness anywhere else. But if we connect into this being, our inner being, it’s inherent quality is fullness. It only knows completion. It’s connected to everything. What is there it doesn’t have? So now think of judgment and guilt in this way.

[00:31:31] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:31:32] Maureen: Those are two things that absolutely separate us from our capacity to know ourselves as connected. You know, guilt means you’re disconnected from all things good, judgment means you’re disconnecting yourself from whatever it might be in in belief that it’s not good.

[00:31:49] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:31:50] Maureen: If you’re so awesome that you’re connected to everything and now you disconnect to that degree every single day. Well, where’s the light that’s lighting up every individual cell of your body? We are electrons, protons, neutrons. We are light-filled beings. The cells of our body are full of light, yet we’re cutting off this lightness of being. Of course, we’re going to feel dense and, and sick and tired of a life where it doesn’t feel connected to what we really truly know is vital for us to experience every day.

[00:32:28] Christian: Mm. That was a beautiful story. Thank you. So should I ever be abstinent with the food that I have? Cause if my body knows what it’s supposed to have inside of it, um, I’ve been very confused by gaining, you know, an extra a hundred pounds, and I bet there is a lot of people that maybe have had the same problem. How do you know?

[00:32:56] Maureen: Yeah. It’s really interesting. Again, when you’re connected to this inner being, you’re going to feel that sense of fullness and appreciation in life. You’re going to appreciate yourself innately. Knee jerk appreciation. You’re going to naturally take good care of yourself because you’re getting it that you need to get around from place to place in order to communicate and have fulfilling relationships and all that kind of thing. When you’re feeling disconnected, the voice of the ego edging the Truth of you or the Divinity of you or the Fullness of you or the Inner Being of you out, then you’re going to be seeking for fulfillment all the time without even knowing it. It looks like you’re showing up for other people, but you’re showing up for other people to get their approval. Or you’re showing up to work or a job just to get money to have you feel as though you’re, you know, rooted somewhere. You show up to all these different relationships with a need because you’re going to inherently have a need. You’re separate. connected. You’re, you’re disconnected from the source of you. So it literally feels like you just unplugged the lamp from the wall and then you’re expecting to feel like you can be lit up.

[00:34:10] Christian: Yeah.

[00:34:11] Maureen: And so we try everything but just plug the lamp back in! That’s why I said before, one problem, one solution. Plug it in! That’s your source of everything. Why would you disconnect and then think you’re going to be okay by finding everything else in the room as a thing to make you happy or to make you feel as though you’re lit up. We go about life looking for all our fulfillment through other people, through other things, and it, it’s much more of a distraction from ourselves. Just plug in. And we’ll find that all of our encounters are very synchronistically orchestrated for us to experience what it is we’re feeling. If we’re feeling connected, you’re going to find lots of people in life that you’re connected with and who are connected themselves. It’s a really fun life. You’ll find a lot of creatives. You’ll find a lot of generous, kind, fun, happy people. If you’re disconnected, you’re going to show up to other people who are experiencing the same thing. We’ll resonate where it is that we, ourselves, individually are aligned with.

[00:35:14] Christian: And how can you reconcile – like it’s easy for me because I fixed my problem and I’m now I’m, yeah, yeah, I’m young. I’m young and healthy. But what about, what about people who don’t have the capacity to do that? The people who were born with a disability or… you talk about communication. But my brother’s autistic. He cannot speak with people.

[00:35:36] Maureen: Yeah. But that’s us in judgment watching him from our eyes that discern that we have a “superior” way to be in a body than he does. So he came to earth in a form that’s perfect for his soul. That’s just something to trust me on right now.

[00:35:58] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:35:58] Maureen: And in his body, he’s being able to teach certain things to people and experience certain things that other people can’t.

[00:36:09] Christian: Hm.

[00:36:09] Maureen: Sometimes people are labeled autistic when they are just like way different in their perception of what’s going on here. They’re literally seeing oneness and can’t separate or differentiate themselves from this Bliss Being. And so things that you do outwardly for them pale in comparison to their inner world and they’re more in their own world. Because their own world is much more captivating than this world of separation. Or much too abrasive for them when they’re in this peace, peace, peaceful world that feels embracing and infinitely loving without any end to it. And now, okay, I turn my eyes outside, and I’ve got fearful eyes. I’ve got limited capacity to create eyes. I’ve got people who are in a space where they are doing things in your best interest, but they’re not feeling your inner world. And so he came here literally as a teacher. I believe anyone who came with what we label as disabilities or special needs, they came with a special need to wake us up. Much more than the average person. They are evidently outwardly, obviously embodying something that people have to be more awake and aware of the Divinity inside of us to be able to accurately assess them.

[00:37:42] Christian: Hm.

[00:37:43] Maureen: That means when they go to a, say, a classroom, a special needs classroom, they’re going to find teachers who have such angelic personalities often. They’ll have a forum to be able to be that on earth. They’ll literally be able to be in a classroom where the kids feel like they’re in heaven on earth because a beautiful being is the one in charge. That’s if no one’s coloring their world with fear. So pay attention, this requires you to take a little bit of responsibility here. When a child with a, in quotes, “disability” or a special need is born to this world it causes the people who are, in quotes, “normal” who love them, to have a little bit of fear for them.

Because we know, as in quotes, “normal” people, how challenging this world can be for a person who has all of their facilities and even genius. So we’re looking at their world through our eyes, and our eyes have been conditioned to see us as separate from the Divine. The person who has the classroom full of autistic or special needs kids who is bringing heaven to earth there and who’s having the best time of their life, they were just born to do this? They’re truly the only people who are meant to be in a classroom like that ’cause they see it as a gift and they don’t burn out, and they don’t find themselves exhausted. They’re being renewed in every moment, their body is their vehicle for their divinity and their divinity is shining through every cell of their body all day, every day connect

[00:39:21] Christian: I have known most special needs teachers, they- they’ll do it for 30, 35 years.

[00:39:26] Maureen: And, and look at the pittance of money they get.

[00:39:29] Christian: Yeah.

[00:39:29] Maureen: But when someone shows up, knowing that the soul of someone is the most important thing, they are going to draw it out of them.

[00:39:37] Christian: Mm.

[00:39:37] Maureen: And find a part of them, the light of them, that is totally connected and never was disconnected, but their body is causing other people to come to the light. So when you know that, oh my gosh, and you can see the gift that these beings are- they literally come for their family first and foremost, to awaken them to deeper patience, more kindness, more, creativity, more compassion. But guess what? That’s not learned behavior. That’s our innate qualities of the Soul, that fullness. So it means that for you, with an autistic brother, everybody in your family, must have come in here bright souls.

 

That wanted to remember their brightness first and foremost, to stay plugged in. Because you have to stay plugged in when you’re in that circumstance. I’m not saying it’s easy. And I’m not saying that people don’t have the right to take a break and, and get, you know, some me time. Real, quality plug in by yourself time. That’s essential in these experiences. When you take that time to sense your body – am I feeling tired or exhausted? You know, let me be loving my best friend here first and then I’m going to be able to give from the overflow to people who are that important in my life, who came into teach me such big lessons. I want to get every lesson – then that connectivity is going to be so obvious. They’ll be able to speak with you telepathically. And I’m not saying this from a woo-woo place, I’ll, I’ll name it that it sounds weird and wild. But our souls don’t need bodies to communicate either. Notice that. If you fall in love at first sight, that’s not your mind that. That’s a soul connection. That’s a deeper knowing that you have this energy to live and learn something with each other, or it wouldn’t be that dramatic of a connection. And it might be pain or it might be pleasure, you don’t know yet. But you’ll be drawn to the people in your life that will give you the greatest opportunity to connect. People sometimes call it lessons, you know, spiritual lessons. Want to make it more immediate, people who are challenging make you have to be connected more evidently. And they’ll prompt you back, you know, push you back to yourself over and over and over again. Now, there’s one thing about people who have special needs or “disabilities”. The only thing you have to do, for everybody out there who’s ever come across or been fortunate enough to be in the vicinity or even in close relationship with someone who has special needs or disabilities, the only thing that you really have to do is appreciate them. It’s a non-active thing. Before you do any action, it’s imperative that it comes from appreciation. Because if you’re trying to fix them or if you’re trying to change them to meet other standards or models or ideals, then that’s not you being taught by the master teacher.

[00:42:46] Christian: Hm.

[00:42:46] Maureen: They’re the master teacher who came here with a body that’s not the same as yours. Just appreciate them fully. Fully. We’re going to emphasize the word fully again, because fullness is a quality of the soul. That means you’ll connect on a full level. That means you won’t be propelled to fix or change things inappropriately. That means you’ll act out of fullness rather than fear. And you’ll act out of fullness rather than lack. This is grace in the making. That you don’t have to be limited to your one little body’s experiences. And that is win-win. The soul knows only win-win. It knows that if you can recognize a gift when you see it, that’s a full life. That’s a massively full life. That’s not trying to be happier, trying to find things outside of you that make you feel better. It’s a truly fulfilling life because you know you’re tapping in to the essence of truth. The essence of truth of all of us is that we are love. And notice how people with disabilities, sometimes, are just beaming that out of every pore of their body. They’re beaming that. until they get frustrated with somebody trying to contain their experience.

And suit it to fit into this limited world of myopic opinions and identities.

[00:44:13] Christian: Hm. Alright, you changed my mind on that.

[00:44:17] Maureen: I have a nephew that, um, was born with his heart turned around and had multiple procedures when he was first born so that he was this little teeny body in this bed, this hospital bed, with every wire and every tube that you can imagine hooked up to him. And he came through it. He’s actually driving now and things, and people would maybe look at him and say he has some disabilities because of this massively traumatic entrance that he made.

[00:44:44] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:44:45] Maureen: Beautiful, beautiful reasons why this soul came in and made the entrance the way he did, but that’s for another episode.

[00:44:50] Christian: Hm.

[00:44:51] Maureen: The interesting thing that he was left with was a little bit of a hearing problem. And I was talking to my father one day and he was saying how, you know, hard, it was for my sister with him. And I said, “But he’s-he’s so present. He’s like a Buddha.” And my father said, “Yeah, but it’s hard. You know, he doesn’t hear well.” And I said, “dad, how many people say things worth listening to anyway?” And he started laughing so hard. And it’s true, we overrate so many things that we’re not even using well.

Think of how many people you know who are really, really good listeners.

[00:45:29] Christian: Yeah.

[00:45:30] Maureen: So we have the capacity to listen, but do we? Is it that terrible if somebody came in knowing that if they didn’t hear and be distracted by so much of the world, that maybe they’d have a different perspective that was more self-referring, was more connecting, that kept them more aligned with their soul rather than needing or wanting the good or bad opinions of other people to be in their favor? It’s a really wise soul that comes in with these things, that comes in naturally knowing that they’re going to captivate certain people’s attention, bring out something in them, whether it’s much more love and compassion and presence or fear. But at least it’s out then. Because when you were talking before about the many ways that you were layering, when you were gaining weight and not knowing and understanding why, all of that was fear-based. All of the weight that we carry around with us is a result of our weighty thoughts. Our weighty thoughts are only weighty if they’re disconnected from the light and they’re more oriented towards dark. When you were walking around thinking about your weight at the time, until you started to work out or eat well, the ways that you came to a body that you’re more comfortable in, think about how many days you judged yourself and how many things you did to prove you were right about how terrible, awful, bad, left out, dropped you were. When we overeat is when our own voice of our own best interest or our, you know, inner barometer for what feels good in our body gets all out of whack because we’re so used to not listening to what feels good or what doesn’t feel good in our body. That’s one of the best assets our body has, is it allows for us to feel. And the way we know if we’re on track, if we’re plugged in or if we’re connected to our inner being, is it feels good.

[00:47:35] Christian: Hm.

[00:47:35] Maureen: Baseline. It feels good. You feel peaceful. You feel happy. You don’t even have to know why. It just feels tapped in. When you’re disconnected, it feels awful. You could be saying to somebody, you know, “I hate you!” And you think it feels good cause you just said that. But inside it feels like, yeah, but my real self doesn’t believe that. That’s, bull. I don’t, I don’t really hate them, but I’m going to pretend I hate them! I have to be even more forceful about it cause I got a smother out this inner voice that’s telling me, ‘Oh come on, you know everybody’s doing the best they can.’ Everybody’s doing the best they can based on their perspective of the individual body that they’re in. Maybe they all don’t know that they can connect to everything by losing the judgment and the guilt, but that’s okay. We’re all here to learn. We’re all here to live. We’re all here to choose from the different contrasts what feels good and what doesn’t. And when we start to more consistently choose what feels good, we see that all of a sudden the world shifts. It changes. We start to see a benevolent world around us that’s actually holding the space for things to happen that are in our best interest and more. But we have to get out of our own way first. To get out of that mind that wants to disconnect us and then feel victim to everything.

So I have this story -when you were saying about what do people do then if they, you know, have a hard time in their body because they’re have too much weight on or they’re just somehow not comfortable in their body. I had a client one time, really smart woman. She was here in this part of the country on a Fulbright scholarship from Europe, and she was really connected to a lot of things in an in a very intellectual way, and she had some sadness and challenge around her physical body and her appearance. And so she had to do these seminars and things cause she was a very learned person and a speaker. But she hated showing up to them cause she hated the way she looked. And so I was telling her that she’s not only a body, I mean, look at the brilliance that she is and, and I said to her, just stop judging yourself to the best of your capacity. And I know that’s easier said than done. But at first, just watch yourself, and this is going to be the hardest part. Just watch yourself and your thoughts. And see how many times you beat up on yourself. And then notice if ever you’re your best friend. She started noticing that, and she said, “I’m never my best friend.” Next time we talked she said,” I’m never my best friend.” And she said, “But I know I’m, I know I can be. So I’m going to start seeing and focusing on things a little better.” So the next time I spoke with her, she had gone to the gym. And on her way into the gym, she fell and twisted her ankle. And she starts yelling at me, “You know, you said started noticing good thoughts…” And she was so frustrated and she said, “You know, I don’t believe any of this anymore, cause I’m thinking that I’m going to treat myself well and I’m going into the gym. And next thing I know I fall and sprain my ankle.” And I said, “Well, you were watching what you were thinking, right?” And she said, “Well, I don’t know.” I said, “Well, let’s go back now and just get yourself in that same place you were at the time when you were walking up the steps to go into the gym. What were you thinking?” And she said, I was thinking, you fat pig. You don’t want anybody to see you working out. You should’ve wore a bigger sweatshirt. You’re disgusting.” And she starts naming off this litany of abusive things she was saying to herself. And I said, “See, that’s all you had to do was watch. Of course, you’re not going to want to go to the gym because you’re thinking you’re a big fat pig showing up. You’re caring about other people’s good or bad opinions.” See how we get ourselves stuck in this, not noticing that we’re our own worst enemy rather than our own best friend? So it takes a shift to get us over that hump. Where we’re so used to treating ourselves so poorly and then just take an outward advance towards treating ourselves well.

[00:51:40] Christian: Hm.

[00:51:41] Maureen: So it’s literally taking some time to journal, maybe in the mornings. I can talk about that during another podcast episode. Some ways to connect in the morning, first thing, to this beautiful mind that we have that loves us impeccably and that allows for us to see our best selves and to move more and more towards having that best self show up physically, mentally, emotionally, and vitally in the world of of this and that in form

[00:52:13] Christian: Mm you’re saying that’s possible.

[00:52:15] Maureen: I know it’s possible. I know it’s possible. I came to this spiritual path from a path that was a little unusual, in that I was a fashion model in New York City. And so everything was about the body. Everything. You know, I made my living by being a body. Not only was it something that I kept in shape because I wanted to, but because I had to in order to survive. I mean, I paid my rent with my

[00:52:43] Christian: Mm.

[00:52:43] Maureen: And so I got used to going into small enclaves of places like, you know, the back of a church, not the big pomp and circumstance thing, but where it was quiet and I could just, like, kind of light a candle and get connected. Or I go into a little garden alcove or something in New York City. If I found a museum that had a garden or I’d go even, no matter what it was, temples, anything that had a space that felt a little sacred and away from the massive hordes of people.

[00:53:09] Christian: Mmhm.

[00:53:10] Maureen: And I started to connect more deeply. Let myself feel something beyond just my physical body because it was a challenging world where that’s all I was seen as. And I bought into it pretty much too, you know, the picture perfect life because it was so much of what I was spending my day to day life in. It was interesting. I got to a point where I said, I can’t live with myself anymore, and I didn’t know what that meant. But I started asking, you know, help to this voice that I knew was there when I would go tap it in those more calm moments of my life. And, one time, I walked into a new age bookstore, right in Brookline, Massachusetts. was named Horai-San. I don’t know if it’s still there, Brookline Village. I’ll give it a little, a plug in case it’s there. Sweet, sweet people who owned it. And I walked in between auditions one day, and I had read a lot of self help books and things just like, know, people are used to seeing, but at this time there weren’t as many as there are now, but I had read a lot of them. I started out this path in New York City because of The Power of Positive Thinking. That was Norman Vincent Peale, who had a big Marble Collegiate Church on Fifth Avenue. And he always talked about positive, you know, the spirit things. But it’s, it wasn’t getting me there cause I realized I got so good at positivity that I was more pouring pink paint on problems then then really feeling that it wasn’t a problem.

[00:54:40] Christian: I feel like a lot of young people are going through that right now. Mindfulness, positivity. You almost feel insane because it doesn’t, there’s nothing connected to it,

[00:54:50] Maureen: So it’s not the deeper connection. You’re not going inside first. You’re using outer tools, which do work by the way, but it’s a little bit of a longer path than going straight to center within you and then just sitting with yourself until you hear in that voice of your own best interest. At first, it’s almost sad because you feel so responsible for having cut it off to begin with. a part of us that knows we’re responsible for the pain that we’re experiencing, cause it could be so much better! But where, how, what? And so I walked into this bookstore and started looking at the new age books on the shelf. And then I noticed a bookshelf under the window in the front, and it had this book that was in it, and I didn’t know it at the time, but it was A Course in Miracles. And I had, while I was looking at this bookshelf over here that had all the self help books and new age kind of books, I was scanning them and I said, “Nah I read that, read that, read that.” Picked up a few, and they, it just felt like it wasn’t going deep enough. And I said, there has to be something more. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend I’m positive when I keep dropping it at the vital times, like I’ll become mean or mad or sad just when it matters most. And so I made my way to that book that was sort of beaming at me. It literally was beaming at me and I didn’t understand that and it kind of scared me and intimidated me. But when I picked it up it literally fell open to the page that said, “ I am not a body. I am free. For, I am still as God created me.” And I really didn’t intellectualize that it, it shocked me. It, it felt like it hit me right in the heart with an arrow. And it felt bigger than just the words on the page, that it was more of a definite message. Precisely hitting the nail on the head of what was causing all the angst in my life at the time. And it scared me and I started to cry. I stood in that store and just started cry. I couldn’t control myself that it, it found me out. So I closed the book and I brought it to the register. I remember I got the soft cover instead of the hard cover, cause I was like, ah, I don’t know if I’m gonna spring for book, but at the same time I can’t not get it. And then I put it on the shelf at home and I would walk by it. And say, “I gotta read that book someday.” Cause it scared me. Really did scare me. Then I started doing it by myself. I hid it under my couch. No one knew I had the book even. And my kids were small then and when they were at school I would take the book out and I started to read it and it literally scared me even more because it was saying things like this chair is not a chair and this table is not a table. What it was alluding to was that we have every label we have on a chair or a table, and if you don’t know that you’re labeling it and limiting it by your own small concept of it, then you’re missing the greatest things in life.

Years later, when I had the experience that woke me up to miracles every day, all day – after three, almost three and a half years, I believe it was of me studying that by myself and hiding and under the couch, and then meditating and going deeper to really chew on what it was saying and, and not advancing in lessons in A Course in Miracles till I literally felt like I had embodied it, say lessons like, go out today and be the light of the world and shine on and, and I’d come home and miserably. I gave somebody the finger on the way home from Boston or, uh, you know, just like lost it at the kids dinner time. And I’d say, okay, didn’t pass that day. You got to go back and do it again. And I didn’t know that people typically don’t do it with that kind of resolve or, or do anything with that kind of resolve. But I really I meant it when I said “I got to find a better way.” So the interesting thing was, when I looked back after I woke up years later, I could see, in that time and space continuum more clearly, I could see with a mind that miracles collapsed time and space. So I saw where I was and what was happening at the time when I first began A Course in Miracles. And in the first lessons, like the first seven lessons, it goes over and over- this thing that scared me so much cause I thought this has to be a cult. This has to be mind or something. And so I opened it up to the back of the book and there was no address of where it was, you know, it’s a channeled work. So there wasn’t any place it was sending me to. So that comforted me. Cause I thought, well, who’s going to get me if my mind shifts it’ll just be between me and me. That’s why I hid it. So then I remember what happened so clearly. The day I opened the book, sitting at the couch reading it, there was this coffee table front of that was a round mahogany coffee table. And we had just gotten this house after years and years of saving and making poor decisions with real estate. And so we finally got this place, but we had no money to furnish it though. So the only room that I did furnish was this living room. And it had a nice piano, that bookshelf where the book was, and it had this beautiful oval coffee table, and the couch I was sitting on. And then there was this picture window in that living room. So when I open the book and it says, this room doesn’t mean anything, this table doesn’t mean anything… That made so mad Because I had just spent, know, the last pennies we had making these drapes that were perfectly framing the windows And so, it said specifically in those lessons, “this table is not a table” and I remember the third day in or so, I looked down at the table, and I see that is scratched to bits on the top. This table that was like a prized only real furniture in the house kind of thing of of a few pieces of real furniture. And I was like, what? This table is like scratched to bits on the top. I asked everybody what happened and nobody’s saying anything. The next day I figured I’m going to lay in wait and see what happened with this table. So I go into the living room and I see my younger daughter, Maeve, at the time was about two and a half, three years old, and she had on overalls, those OshKosh overalls with those snaps all down the front and she’s doing spins, tummy spins, on table. So she’s scratching the whole of table with OshKosh B’gosh buttons. And I’m like, Oh! But she’s only like two and a half years old, so I’m not going to do anything like crazy. But I’m like, “Come on, this is mommy’s table. Don’t go on the table. There’s a home room full of toys back there. Just go play with the toys. No more. You can’t be in this room on that table.” And she’s maybe understanding me, maybe not, but she didn’t do it anymore. Then about a day or so later- I’m still on these lessons- I go into the living room one day after school, and my daughter, Heather, has, her best friend Candace over. And they were into Barbies at time. So she’s playing with her Barbies, having a big Barbie circus on the table with this, like this Barbie van riding on top of the table and all the Barbies and Kens are dancing and a big party going on. And I’m like, ” What are you doing with my table?!” So she’s older, maybe she was 10 at the time, or 10 or 11 at the time. So I’m able to yell at her. So I yelled at her and said, “What are you doing? You know, bringing your friends here and you, you guys go into another room and like, no wonder your sister’s on the table. She sees this bad example.” So then I was like, okay, I caught my culprits. I’ll just have to refinish the tabletop. Another day goes by and I walk into the living room one evening, and I see my husband’s legs up on the table using it as a foot rest. And he got the real rap. So he got screamed at like, you gotta be kidding me. Look at the table, look what you’ve done to the table. And then I’m telling him he’s responsible for the kids. No one treats anything well here. I’m, I’m the slave maid that has to clean up after everybody. And I went on my big tangent. That would be the thing that led in ‘I’m a body.’ So that, I figure what else. That’s, that’s it. The next day I walk into the living room in the middle of the day, everybody else is at school. No one else is home. And the dog is standing on table in show pose. We had a big window, a picture window, that he could have just stood next to the window looking out and he’s standing perched on the table, looking out the window. So I to the room from the kitchen and as I walk in, I see him standing on the table and I went, ” What are you doing?!” Again. So he hears me and sees me, he’s so scared he starts running in place on the and he’s gouging the table with his paws. And so he jumps, takes a running dive off the table and runs away. The interesting thing was that I didn’t know that was going on when I was reading “this table’s not a table” until years later when I woke up.

[01:04:15] Christian: Wow.

[01:04:17] Maureen: It wasn’t a table. It was a Barbie circus. It was a whirly-gig. It was a foot rest. It was a dog perch. Everybody had a different idea of what the table was and look how creative that is. Really. you look at that. That’s like people being fully free to make of anything what they will. And to be spontaneous. and okay, so my table got all scratched up. You know, I kept that table for years and then got sold in a garage sale for like $2.50! I said “What?! I saved that!” We moved and kept the table. So still the table was following me, haunting me wherever I went.

So. Our bodies are not just bodies that are meant to be, you know, whipped up in the morning and whipped into shape and show up to perform for other people. They’re our vehicles of communication and, at best, they communicate joy and bliss and creativity and all kinds of diversity so that we can experience these multiple amazing perspectives that people could have if they weren’t so restricted by all these confines and laws and things that keep our bodies “safe.” That are really a crapshoot when you look at them.

Instead, let our true inner being- truly the sense of real safety and security- keep us safe, because it’s going to tell us where to go, what to do, what to say and to whom. And if we get in line and in sync with that, we will never feel dropped and we’ll never feel lost and we’ll continually feel full.