IN THIS EPISODE:
From the moment we are born into this world, all of us are faced with expectations. First from our parents, then from our teachers, peers, authority figures, partners…and the list goes on. But the loudest voice, with the greatest expectations for us, always comes from within.
From the moment we are born into this world, all of us are faced with expectations. First from our parents, then from our teachers, peers, authority figures, partners…and the list goes on. But the loudest voice, with the greatest expectations for us, always comes from within.
In this episode, originally recorded in June 2019, hosts Maureen and Christian unpack the confusing role expectations play in our lives. But more importantly, they reveal how we can transcend the unbearable weight of imposed expectations (inside and out) to discover and follow only the Truest Path of our Souls.
Topics addressed in this episode include:
- Why is it that expectations (even good, well-intentioned ones) are so detrimental to us?
- How do the expectations of parents continue to affect their kids as they grow up?
- How to tell the difference between the ego’s expectations of us vs. our True Self’s expectations
- What is the key to reaching a place of deep, lasting satisfaction in life?
- How to live a successful, purpose-filled life without micromanaging everything.
- Why is it that some people achieve great success, riches and fame and still feel unfulfilled?
- THE mantra for discovering and manifesting your Soul’s Path.
“If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.” – A Zen Buddhist koan attributed to Linji Yixuan
Support us on Patreon and get access to bonus recordings, meditations, outtakes and more! www.patreon.com/miraclerenegade
For behind-the-scene updates and a little taste of the miraculous everyday, follow @miraclerenegade on Instagram
Produced with ❤️ by Adam Gamwell for Axiom Productions
Music in this episode:
Here, Now – Gavin Luke
A fork Fight – Lenzer
Perceptible Shades – Francis Wells
2.4 Great Expectations
[00:00:00] Maureen: I’m Maureen Whitehouse…
[00:00:01] Christian: And I’m Christian Camarena.
[00:00:02] Maureen: And this is Miracle Renegade.
[00:00:04] Christian: So how are you doing today?
[00:00:06] Maureen: I’m great.
[00:00:07] Christian: Yeah?
[00:00:07] Maureen: Yeah.
[00:00:08] Christian: Same here. All right. Today I wanted to talk about a couple of topics here and there. I’ve been seeing a lot of trends and, and patterns in my life. And as I walk, when I’m walking the street, I kinda like to observe people. And then when I come home and I relax, it kind of all jumbles up into this certain point and it comes out with a word. So, recently I’ve been seeing a lot of my life cater to expectations, and I would like to know where that stems from.
[00:00:41] Maureen: Great question. So just what, essentially, are expectations?
[00:00:45] Christian: Yeah.
[00:00:46] Maureen: Just by nature of that word or that feeling of expectation – it’s sort of based on the past, because we want something different from what we’re currently experiencing, based on experiences that we’ve already had. But the most important thing to know about expectations is that there’s a fine line between intending for things to happen or creating things that are happening in your life and expectation. So feel that now about the things you’re talking about, the things that you might have had expectations around.
[00:01:21] Christian: Alright.
[00:01:21] Maureen: Does it feel like it’s coming from a mode of being present and available with yourself, feeling what it is that you most want to experience, and then letting yourself see it almost as completely done in your life? Because then everything in between that vision and what you’re experiencing fills in by itself. If you had an idea for something that you would like to experience in life, you make a clear, clean runway with peace as your focus. So does it feel peaceful? Does it feel authentic for me? Does it feel real as something that is coming from an inborn place, not from other people’s ideas or expectations – that other people have? Most of us don’t really spend enough quality time with ourself to know what’s inborn versus what has come into our minds because of all the outer input in life.
[00:02:26] Christian: Hm.
[00:02:27] Maureen: That’s why the good or bad opinions of other people are so detrimental to our own “great expectations” in quotes. You know, the ones that are really meaningful and impactful to us.
[00:02:39] Christian: Even good ones.
[00:02:41] Maureen: Even good ones, because who’s saying good or bad? Who’s judging whether it’s good or bad, or assessing whether it’s good or bad? Only you know what’s really goodor really bad by how you feel. So when we have the expectations of other people on us, often that’ll steer us off our own path because we’re not listening to ourselves deeply. So let’s just step back for a minute and go to that word expectation. When you’re looking at that from the inside-out, who’s expecting what from who? Feel it now just within you about something that you have as an expectation. The True Self of us abides in states of Knowing. So it only expects the very best for you all a time, only knows that you really should be expecting the very best for you all the time because that’s the reality of things for you. But if you’re judging yourself then expectations are coming from a place of ” some day this will be better” or “that will make it better.”
[00:03:54] Christian: Hmm.
[00:03:54] Maureen: It’s never going to happen, that you feel more satisfied while you’re thinking of something in a dissatisfied place.
[00:04:01] Christian: Oh yeah.
[00:04:01] Maureen: You can’t get there from here. You can only get to a place of deep satisfaction by resonating with a place of deep satisfaction first. An Inner Knowing that we connect with first about what feels really amazing and wonderful and fantastic for us. So I, I’d like to make it personal, so give me an example of an expectation you might have.
[00:04:28] Christian: I expect to succeed in whatever I put my heart into.
[00:04:33] Maureen: Okay, great. Now you said a couple of things there that are important. You said “whatever I put my heart into.” So no matter what the trajectory is, if you’re putting your heart into it along the line of “attaining” something, you’re going to feel successful because you’ve been coming from your heart every day.
[00:04:54] Christian: Yeah. But it’s, it’s really hard to… it’s that transitionary part, you know? You said that you need a very clear path but, living in the world, there is no such thing as a clear path. Uh, issues come up or…
[00:05:10] Maureen: Situations arise.
[00:05:11] Christian: Yeah. And you start losing track.
[00:05:15] Maureen: Okay. That’s if the expectation came from the outside-in.
[00:05:19] Christian: Hm.
[00:05:19] Maureen: That’s how you discern. So It’s a little bit like fly fishing. Say you’re in a space where you feel really connected. You’re having a good day. Things feel just light and happy, and you’re feeling tapped in to the True You. And you’re only moving and breathing and being tapped in. So it might be after a nice, calm state of meditation, or you just spent great time with your best friend, or you’re out in nature, and you’re feeling as though you’re at one with your own Being. You’re not feeling separate or diffused in any way. Like stress or problems or pain, they make us feel separated from that peaceful place within us. So here you are in this nice peaceful place and all of a sudden you get this inspiration – happens all the time to people – and you’re like, “Wow, how come I didn’t think of that before? I would love to…” And then you get this idea or thought about something that you would like to do.
[00:06:16] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:06:16] Maureen: And that’s what I mean when I say it’s like fly fishing. We are already in a place of peace and ease, and so you expect more of that in the future. And this particular thought or experience feels like, yeah, that’s totally in alignment with this experience of peace and ease. And so you throw it out in front of you, knowing that it doesn’t exist in your life right now but so what? You’re already happy, you’re already in a peaceful place. And when you throw it out there in front of you, you just let it go and relax. Because somebody who’s fly fishing isn’t going to keep on pulling it up and putting it down, pulling it up and putting it down, if they know they’re getting a bite.
[00:07:02] Christian: Hm.
[00:07:03] Maureen: So you’re just going to keep it there, in the place where you can start feeling the tug a little bit, and then you leave it. And watch how all of the things in between fill in. It’s why I use the analogy of a lightning bolt often in the work that I do, because it’s not like you can think your way there.
[00:07:25] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:07:26] Maureen: It’s more like when a lightning bolt hits, it’s bringing heaven to earth and it lights up everything in an instant. You see the entirety of the vision in an instant, you see the landscape, you see everything in detail. Very well lit, beautiful, bright.
[00:07:41] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:07:42] Maureen: And then it could be dark again. But you know where you’re going if you saw everything light up in an instant, if you knew there was a road in front of you and oh, I saw a town that way, you know where you’re going because you already saw it.
[00:07:55] Christian: Mm.
[00:07:56] Maureen: And that’s really literally the way our True Self operates on this planet.
[00:08:02] Christian: So, just to try to organize this for myself, for my sake, you’re saying that like if I have an intention and I throw it out with peace-
[00:08:13] Maureen: And you said before that it’s, it’s a heartfelt intention.
[00:08:16] Christian: Yeah. It’s honest-
[00:08:18] Maureen: And that means you have to know what’s honest to you first so you can see why a lot of people aren’t doing it this way.
[00:08:24] Christian: But a lot of things get done. People still accomplish their dreams, even if they don’t know what honesty is.
[00:08:30] Maureen: Well, then they arrive at the dream they thought they wanted, and it’s why you see so much, say, dysfunction happening in Hollywood.
[00:08:39] Christian: Yeah.
[00:08:39] Maureen: People get great success, big mansions, and they don’t feel true to themselves or feel fulfilled. Why would that be? Why would that possibly be?
[00:08:48] Christian: Yeah, that’s a good point.
[00:08:49] Maureen: It’s because they didn’t connect first to who they are to steer them in where they’re going.
[00:08:56] Christian: Yeah. And then it gets real complicated.
[00:08:58] Maureen: Very complicated. Because the more you have around you – that’s a symbol of great success that feels like nothing. Imagine that. Feel that.
[00:09:06] Christian: Yeah.
[00:09:07] Maureen: What does that feel like? You’ve had all the success in the world and yet you still feel empty? So that’s why this is so valuable to talk about things like this now before people think that success is going to make them really feel fulfilled, or lots of money’s going to make them feel really fulfilled. I’m not saying any of those things aren’t wonderful to experience, but they will feel like nothing – literally will feel like nothing – if they were born from that voice of separation. The voice of separation’s always trying to prove you’re somebody to other people. It’s always caring about the good or bad opinions of other people. It’s always prompting you to do more, have more, be more in order to form an identity that’s somehow self satisfying. Instead of just stopping, relaxing, getting into that place that feels really true to your heart, and then asking – this is a gold star moment here…
[00:10:06] Christian: Yeah.
[00:10:08] Maureen: To your True Self, to this deep, centered Self that you can feel you’re tapped into at the time so you know it’s real cause it feels really real – you’re not doing anything yet you feel peaceful and you feel fulfilled even though you’re not performing in any way, you’re just spending some time with yourself, quality time with yourself – you say at that moment to yourself: Wow. Okay. So I have this inborn vision that just came from this place inside of me that really feels amazing. And if I feel like I want to throw that out in my experience, and somehow someday attain that, then that means that I have to know what to do next in order to get there. But I want to stay connected the whole time I’m on my way there. So this is what you say:
“Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say and to whom. And I will to do it…” Feel your willpower. It’s not your head, it’s your gut. “I will to do it.” That means if I get a gut-knowing, I’m going to follow the gut-knowing no matter if everybody on earth wants to go a different way, I’m going with my gut.
“Tell me what to do. Tell me where to go. Tell me what to say and to whom and I will to do it and nothing more. AND NOTHING MORE.” That’s the really operative word there, because all stress comes from the “something more”.
[00:11:33] Christian: Yeah.
[00:11:34] Maureen: All of the challenges, all of the hard road comes from the “something more” because the “something more” is the ego.
[00:11:42] Christian: Yeah.
[00:11:42] Maureen: Trying to tell us, oh, wait a minute that was too easy or what? No, everybody’s going this way. This is where the trend is. This is what’s happening.
[00:11:50] Christian: Yeah.
[00:11:51] Maureen: I highly recommend this is what you do first thing in the morning. Because first thing in the morning you’ve just had a good night’s sleep, if you’ve had a good night’s sleep. Most people, they’re at least tapping into something that’s letting them expand beyond their typical day-to-day mode of operandum in life. So you get a little bit of connection with something more that’s this nebulous world that’s not in form, and your eyes are closed and then you come back into day-to-day life and before you start to engage with the outer world, there’s this sweet spot. That’s when you’re still kind of groggy and you’re still feeling open to things because your mind just maybe’s a little too tired to think yet and, at that moment, that’s when you insert this to your True Self. Because that’s when you’re not going to be as resistant. Your ego is not going to say, wait a minute, you know, no I have plans for today.
[00:12:47] Christian: Hm.
[00:12:48] Maureen: It might, but at least it’s not going to be as formidable. And so when you’re in that space, before you even do anything – before you even stretch, even before you open your eyes – if you just say: this bed feels really good and my pillow, I love my pillow. Start feeling the things that feel good around you already. And start to notice the outer world with appreciation in a very subtle, small way. But keeping your eyes closed feel that connectivity. Take a big, deep breath to let yourself know that you’re connected with this Inner Being a lot more tangibly. And then, even before you open your eyes and engage with the world fully, say this: “Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say, and to whom. And I will to do it and nothing more.” And that’s going to take away so much stress because think about it. When you are only asking your Inner Being for guidance and then you’re committing to that in the beginning of the day – now, you might get off track at times during the day, but at least you’ll know why you’re not feeling comfortable or happy, ’cause you got off track.
[00:13:56] Christian: Oh, ok.
[00:13:57] Maureen: And then when you’re connected, you’re going to feel like it’s fine. Whatever’s going on, I’m being guided. And you’ll wait that heartbeat, that few minutes more where things reveal themselves that you have not made happen. I will tell you this. Everybody seems to be, somehow, looking for more peace or less stress, or even ultimately liberation.
[00:14:27] Christian: Hm.
[00:14:27] Maureen: Some people. And this is really the only liberation there is – that you can live life without micromanaging everything yourself.
[00:14:38] Christian: That sounds like a dream.
[00:14:39] Maureen: It’s the dream of an awakened person.
[00:14:42] Christian: Yeah.
[00:14:42] Maureen: It’s what they’re living. Relax. Because think about this. If your true Inner Being tells you to do something, it feels peaceful. That’s the way you know it’s your true Inner Being. It simultaneously gives you something to do, like “turn left, turn right” – it can be very practical. It can be “brush your teeth now.” It can be “drink some more water, you don’t realize you’re dehydrated.” It can be very practical and simple, and it’s typically step-by-step. It’s in the moment.
[00:15:07] Christian: Hm.
[00:15:08] Maureen: You can do it now. It’s not going to be this massive thing that’s telling you to do 10 steps in the future. It’s telling you, do something right in front of your face right now. Open the refrigerator, and then you’ll see the thing that has gone bad that you wouldn’t have noticed that day that you’re putting the trash out. It’s little simple things that make your life so easy. But think about what makes people feel stressed. It’s little things!
[00:15:32] Christian: Yeah. They just keep piling up and piling up until…
[00:15:35] Maureen: You lose your keys and it’s because you’re thinking in 10 different directions and your keys are actually sitting right in front of you and you can’t even see them.
[00:15:43] Christian: Mm.
[00:15:43] Maureen: Because your mind is not right in front of you. It’s a pretty interesting and easy thing when you start to watch it out of curiosity too – how effective it is. Like, you don’t have to take my word for this, anybody who’s listening right now, because just try it for one day.
[00:16:01] Christian: Yeah.
[00:16:02] Maureen: And start to watch how much less stressful it feels to be able to be in the moment listening to your True Self, which connects you, which is the main point you’re doing this for is to have that Voice of connectivity lead the way rather than the voice of separation – like, let’s go do this, let’s get that, let’s be that, only it never really arrives to your satisfaction, to your utmost satisfaction. So this is very satisfying because right away you’re feeling like, Huh. You know what? I don’t know why, it feels so good just to really respect and love my own Voice, my own Inner Feeling, my own Inner Being. People don’t realize that all day long they discount their own feelings and then want to feel good.
[00:16:49] Christian: Yeah.
[00:16:50] Maureen: The feelings are a barometer about if you’re connected or not. If you’re connected, you feel good, you feel peaceful. 100%.. If you feel really good and calm, and kindness is just a knee jerk reaction, and patience is just natural to you, it means you’re connected to your Real Self. Those are virtues of your True Self. So when people get all enamored with people who are more awake or aware – because they seem to be more embraced when they’re in the presence of someone like this, they seem to be more genuinely and unconditionally loved in the presence of someone like this – it’s because those are the qualities of everyone at our Core.
[00:17:37] Christian: Hmm.
[00:17:38] Maureen: But they just let go of everything else.
[00:17:40] Christian: Yeah.
[00:17:41] Maureen: And they’re just being what we all truly are. And that’s why it’s inspiring. That’s why it’s magnetic, because everyone knows, “That’s what I’m missing!” You know, when you see it, you’re missing it but you’re not missing it because it’s in that person. You’re missing it ’cause you know it’s in yourself. So, you know, even though we’re speaking here, sometimes I’m a little reluctant to speak this much about something that’s so unnameable, unless you’re embodying it.
[00:18:09] Christian: Yeah.
[00:18:09] Maureen: And the only reason I feel like I have any right to be speaking about this is because I embody it. But it’s not because I’m this great, awesome, you know, unusual person. It’s because I experienced how much more freeing it feels to be giving all the authority to my Inner Being.
[00:18:30] Christian: Hm.
[00:18:31] Maureen: All the authority: “Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say and to whom. And I will to do it, and nothing more.” That keeps my ego completely out of the picture. ‘Cause I know if it looks like there’s a whole lot going on that’s a lot of commotion or “this is hard work”, that that’s my ego.
[00:18:50] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:18:50] Maureen: That just did the something more.
[00:18:52] Christian: Yeah.
[00:18:53] Maureen: And then, not to beat up on yourself ’cause that’s ego territory too. That’ll get you stuck off the path of your own, you know, being yourself naturally and easily and effortlessly.
[00:19:03] Christian: Hm.
[00:19:03] Maureen: A large part of what people are contending with on a path to being a Miracle Renegade or being someone who is more awake and aware in the world, it’s that ego loves to follow us to the top of the mountain and beat us up and say, “you’re not doing this right.” That’s why the expectations are so important. This question that you’re asking. Because many people don’t know. They have these high expectations of themselves, but it’s based on what they’ve seen outside.
[00:19:34] Christian: Yeah
[00:19:35] Maureen: So they’re looking at somebody who’s awake and kind and patient and, and present and thinking, “Oh, I want to be like that, but I’m not kind and I’m not patient and I’m not present.” That’s the “I’m not.” That’s the ego! If it says “I am not”, that’s the ego. InsteadsayI am patient, I am kind and I am present, but I’m not acting like that consistently… hmm, why is that? Oh, I get it. Because I’m not tapping in. I’m letting myself be pulled in 10 different directions by my ego, and then I’m expecting myself to be kind and patient when I’m not being kind or patient with myself.
[00:20:15] Christian: Yeah.
[00:20:16] Maureen: How can I do that with other people? It’s really truly impossible. It’s the hardest way to get there. So that’s why, when people look from a superficial vantage point at somebody who appears to be, you know, more awake – a monk or somebody that has the reputation of being an aware person – if there’s this great reverence or desire to be like them, that’s wonderful in one regard ’cause you can be. As long as that person’s giving the message: yeah, of course! This is you. I’m just being who you are! That’s why you liked me! That’s why you love me! That’s why you want to emulate me. But it’s not me. There’s a saying in the Buddhist tradition, “If you meet the Buddha, slay him. Or her.”
[00:20:59] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:21:01] Maureen: And it means that, yeah, if you like that so much and you meet the Buddha, that’s you! Why would you need a buddha outside of yourself for that?
[00:21:11] Christian: That makes a lot of sense to me. Just thinking about, like, if somebody is exhibiting certain qualities. It’s not because they’re showing that to me, they’re just being themselves. It’s more that I’m paying attention to those things because I know that those are inside of me.
[00:21:28] Maureen: And it really means that you’re ripe fruit ready to fall off the tree. It means you’re ready. Someone can be really there, really aware and one of the things they’ll recognize – you know, I experienced this along my path – is that our True Being is innately happy.
[00:21:45] Christian: Hm.
[00:21:46] Maureen: Is innately appreciative. So in the beginning, when I first woke up and was like this consistently in my life, I would go to normal places that I used to go, like the post office. And I remember, one of the guys at the post office looked at me one day and he went, “Ugh, it’s you again. Why are you so happy all the time?” And I just looked at him and it was funny to me because I’m in a state of appreciation – or else that would maybe feel offensive. And I said, “Why not?” You know, really, what’s the opposite going to do for me?
[00:22:20] Christian: Yeah.
[00:22:20] Maureen: And when I walked away, I was still smiling because I thought, well that came from my True Self because that wasn’t being judgemental of him. And that was saying something that was wise enough that he might have caught on. And I had an opportunity to recognize his True Self in that. But the interesting thing is you can’t attach to results. And that’s why this whole topic of expectations is so important because when you’re going to the top of the mountain, anybody who’s truly masterful has gotten people attacking them.
[00:22:52] Christian: Hm.
[00:22:53] Maureen: Because when someone’s in a really bad day or in a really bad mood, they hate it when somebody comes into their experience really happy like that. And so, you’re going to get enough people who want you not to be there because that’s not typical. That’s not normal. That’s not the way that people act on earth.
[00:23:11] Christian: It’s crazy.
[00:23:12] Maureen: And so, the funny thing is, is they only have to appreciate you to be there.
[00:23:18] Christian: Hm.
[00:23:18] Maureen: Like, notice it. If you see a little kid who’s thrilled and happy just because, you know, they picked one of those dandelions and the ones that are blowing in the wind, and they’re happy, they’re making wishes everywhere with them. It can be contagious if you’re appreciating them. But you could even say, “Wait a minute, that’s my lawn! I just put weed killer on that and those things are going everywhere!”
[00:23:37] Christian: Yeah.
[00:23:37] Maureen: And then, then you’re not one with them. You’re not in that place at all. It’s the judgment that separates us from our True Self – on the inside first.
[00:23:47] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:23:47] Maureen: When you wake up in the morning and think of that to-do list that if you, if you get that done, you’re going to be somewhere that, you know, the expectation is, I’ll feel better because of that. And from the outside, you’ll meet a lot of people in the world who have all kinds of opinions that don’t necessarily feel resonant with peace. And if you’re listening to that or watching that, then you’re going to be pulled off center all the time. This is a good way to say it, I’d have to say. People talk about being off center or connected. Really, literally what they’re talking about is being themselves at that moment. If you’re on center, then think about that – where do you go from the center? You’re being very self-referring at that moment. There’s no space for expectations. It’s that – in some traditions there’s a- an image. It’s a circle around a dot.
[00:24:46] Christian: Hm.
[00:24:47] Maureen: There’s this completion in a circle, no beginning and end, but it’s the dot in the middle that has nowhere to go. The circle, you can go around and around and you’ll still be in a space of Wholeness or Oneness or Allness because that’s the moving around the planet on a day-to-day basis in life at best. You’re coming full circle with thoughts and feelings because they originate inside.
[00:25:12] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:25:13] Maureen: And they end inside. It’s you, evaluating you. Not the whole world and their expectations on you. It’s you feeling, “Did this stay peaceful from beginning, middle, to end?” And then that dot in the center is where it’s a still point. It’s that thing you connect to when you’re saying, “Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say and to whom. And I will to do it, and nothing more.” Because it’s not going to send you out randomly, knowing that wherever you go there you are on the circle-
[00:25:47] Christian: Hm.
[00:25:48] Maureen: -and the still point is the most important point. So it wants you in constant stillness, even while you move out in the world.
[00:25:58] Christian: Oh, wow.
[00:25:59] Maureen: It wants you connected all the time.
[00:26:03] Christian: All right. That’s great. Give me a second…
[00:26:07] Maureen: Yeah.
[00:26:09] Christian: It’s a lot deeper than I thought it was going to be.
You-you went in really deep with, uh… with, uh, what is the clear path. But, in my twenties, I had expectations for my life and there’s no real book on this. Like, no one’s telling me that I need to be tapped into myself. No one ever teaches you these things.
[00:26:31] Maureen: It’s so interesting, so where do you think your expectations came from? So go back in time in your mind to when you were in your 20s and think about those expectations you had, and also feel how evasive they felt. You know, how much you had to accomplish before you could get there.
[00:26:49] Christian: Yeah.
[00:26:50] Maureen: And can you now feel, it’s going to be different for everybody, but uniquely for you, can you feel, where those expectations originated from? Was it teachers? Was it parents? Was it society?
[00:27:02] Christian: It was definitely from a place of sadness. My expectations mostly stemmed from a finality of things, that if I end this chapter I can live my life. And, uh, by going through these emotions, uh, I- I took all the examples that I could get from my limited experience. I was young. So it was from parents. It was from teachers. It was from media, it was from celebrity, it was from books.
[00:27:34] Maureen: So you mean you thought you had to feel the negative emotions to get past them?
[00:27:40] Christian: Hmm.
[00:27:41] Maureen: And the expectation was that if you felt or trudged through or tried-
[00:27:45] Christian: Yes.
[00:27:45] Maureen: -hard enough that you’d get to the other side, so…
[00:27:47] Christian: Yes. If I worked hard enough. I’ll get to the other side.
[00:27:51] Maureen: Yeah. Hardest path in the world.
[00:27:55] Christian: Yeah.
[00:27:55] Maureen: If anybody can hear anything I say that’s the most important thing it’s, again, you’re not going to get there from here if you’re in a space where you’re thinking that working hard to get over pain is going to be the answer. The answer in all of this is always the one who relaxes the most wins. Because it’s the mind that can give you a thousand ways to achieve or attain whatever it is that you think is going to be the answer, and normally it’ll stop you midway in one of the thousand ways and say, “No, that wasn’t good enough. Try this. Try that.” And so you’re going to be stuck in that thousand-way path.
[00:28:40] Christian: Yeah.
[00:28:41] Maureen: Confused all the time and feeling discouraged and feeling like a failure all the time because the origination of the path wasn’t connected.
[00:28:50] Christian: Hm.
[00:28:50] Maureen: So how are you going to get where you want to go by being where you’re not and saying, “I’m not, I’m not. I’m not.” Essentially, that’s like a mantra. I’m not who I want to be. I’m not where I want to go. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. And that’s sending a signal out to the outer world of disconnect. Basically of disconnect. What that feels like is that there’s no floor beneath your feet that’s firm or that you can rely on. It also feels like, at any turn, you could be attacked. Attacked by life most often, you know, “Oh, that’s not gonna work for me. But look at him over there. It’s working for him.” Well, he might be completely tapped into his True Self and feeling like this is a fun day for me. Even though he’s, you know, lifting boulders.
[00:29:35] Christian: Yeah.
[00:29:35] Maureen: If you’re tapped in, you’re going to find yourself where you want to be naturally. So here’s the thing.
[00:29:42] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:29:42] Maureen: We’ve been trained to notice what everybody else thinks is good because all of a sudden we’re floundering, we forgot what made us happy.
[00:29:49] Christian: Hm.
[00:29:50] Maureen: We forgot what innately felt connected when we were young. And you’ll see it with anybody, with any child, if you leave a child alone and only nurture them, just appreciate them. After I woke up, I had two different roles as a mother when I was asleep and when I was awake. The role that I played as a mother who was asleep was: “Well, you know, maybe if they have a big enough bow in their hair, or maybe if they have the cute little tap dancing shoes that they can perform for other people, or maybe if they get good grades or maybe if they’re smart and they…” Everything was about other people’s opinions. I had been a model.
[00:30:27] Christian: Yeah.
[00:30:28] Maureen: I thought that the outer appearance was the most important thing for success because, literally, that was what I lived. And so when I woke up, I was like, “Oh my God.” It was crazy. My realization was like, you gotta be kidding me! That was so not loving! How did I not know that that was actually an assault on my children? Smiling big for things that they did when they performed well. That was telling them that people’s expectations matter.
[00:30:58] Christian: Yeah.
[00:30:58] Maureen: And the only thing I realized from that point on was there’s one and only thing you have to do as a parent: appreciate your kids. Whatever they’re doing, appreciate them. And believe me, if they’re throwing toys around and things, and you pick the one thing about them that you can appreciate in that moment, they’ll pick up their toys.
[00:31:18] Christian: Hm.
[00:31:19] Maureen: Because they’re feeling appreciated. Not cause you told them, “Well, if you have a nice clean place than other people will like you.”
[00:31:25] Christian: Hm.
[00:31:26] Maureen: It’s a completely different orientation and yet it’s so subtle. So all I ever did from that moment on was appreciate my children, and I have to say it was the most revalatory thing that, from that point on, even going through teenage years with kids, it was crazy easy. Because their friends realized that I was the person that would appreciate them too.
[00:31:50] Christian: Yeah.
[00:31:51] Maureen: That I didn’t have an agenda to try to fix them or change them, and it was a free space for people to explore their own… essentially their own creativity.
[00:32:01] Christian: Hm.
[00:32:02] Maureen: Because we are creative beings. Another one of those assets that’s huglely important of our True Self is creativity.
[00:32:10] Christian: Hm.
[00:32:10] Maureen: We’re at one with the Great Creator. We’re not severed from that feeling that we’re like the Ray of the Sun, the massive creator of all, and we have that creative potential in us. It’s just been dormant until we tap in fully – if you’ve been separated or been taught to be separate from that – and then you wind up being someone who can create your way out of any challenge. And it’s so much more fun because challenges then are seen as opportunity. Like how would I make this hell into heaven? If really, literally, people showed up saying that, that every one of us – I’m going to emphasize this – every single one of us has this capacity to make heaven out of hell, if we knew that and all we had to do was reengage and tap into our creative potential that’s massive in its capacity, then we wouldn’t care about these little pitiful things that we obsess over in life.
[00:33:08] Christian: Hm.
[00:33:09] Maureen: Like what other people are doing. Or the expectations of other people. And I knew that then, when I woke up, that it was important for me to give my own children authority over their own lives and to be able to feel what they felt was connecting or not. Then they could choose to self regulate. And that’s why so many people in life are not feeling as though they’re empowered in life because they’re so busy trying to fix other people to feel happy.
[00:33:40] Christian: Yeah.
[00:33:41] Maureen: And forgot all about their capacity to self regulate. Like, look, you can be in any situation and find beauty in it if you’re feeling connected ’cause that’s what the Creative Self sees.
[00:33:53] Christian: Hm.
[00:33:54] Maureen: You’re going to look for: how is this diversity, or this contrast, or this person’s uniqueness something that I can work with in a creative way that makes it feel like win-win? They’re feeling appreciated and I’m really appreciating my connection. I’m really appreciating how much there is of me that shows up now that wouldn’t have had an opportunity to show up if it wasn’t for this very situation.
[00:34:21] Christian: Hmm. So starting from… You’re at… That’s the peak.
[00:34:26] Maureen: Okay.
[00:34:27] Christian: Yeah.
[00:34:27] Maureen: I keep going to the peak, sorry about that! I love people to watch from the top of the mountain – down sometimes.
[00:34:32] Christian: Yeah, it is really exciting!
[00:34:33] Maureen: It’s exciting and it’s fun for me, but you’re right. Let’s take this back to…
[00:34:38] Christian: Let’s go to base level…
[00:34:39] Maureen: Base level. So we came in with this capacity, every one of us. We all have this Soul we came in with that’s the immense part of us, that knows everything, that has no restraints with time and space. It’s past, present, future. It’s all of it. And I could go into 10 episodes to try to explain that now, but I’m not going to. So just take my word for that.
[00:35:06] Christian: I was in a float tank and I was thinking back, “when’s the last time I felt this way?” You know? So you’re floating, you’re in darkness, you’re essentially in space. So there’s nothing like it, except when you were a baby, when you were born essentially. But you still didn’t know what you were. You were just nothingness.
[00:35:27] Maureen: And I would say this, you know, you were in a mother’s womb at that time. So the mother has emotions you’re feeling, but- but: you haven’t yet been conditioned into the world, so you’re more tapped into this Self that only can appreciate, that only can love, that only can be viewing everything as just perfect. That’s also the way our True Self views everything.
[00:35:56] Christian: Hm.
[00:35:56] Maureen: So no matter what the ego is viewing the situation like, the True Self is being contented. So notice how sometimes when children come into a situation where their parents are having an awfully hard time, they just seem like old Souls.
[00:36:12] Christian: Yeah.
[00:36:12] Maureen: They already have a capacity to be compassionate, or to be wiser than their parents, or to be more like, “Why don’t they see this?” If they start to get conditioned into the world of fear and judgment. But most often they default to just loving behavior.
[00:36:30] Christian: Hm.
[00:36:30] Maureen: And it’s even moreso when a child is in the womb. They’re wanting this being to be happy because they know that’s why they’re coming to earth. We all know at that Core level that we came here for a win-win situation. That we came because we’re valuable. We came here to be someone who could see what’s going on in the world, all the contrasts, and then creatively choose from all the contrasts – how fun! It’s like a bigger palette to play with – no matter what is going on, and then without expectations that keep us looking at the outside world, we keep that Self-referring connection: “What’s peaceful here?Okay, tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say… here!”
[00:37:21] Christian: Hmm.
[00:37:21] Maureen: And you might find yourself, so interestingly, saying something that you would never normally say if you were conditioned into the world that, you know, your older brothers taught you or else you’re going to get beat up by them…
[00:37:32] Christian: Yeah.
[00:37:32] Maureen: Or a neighbor told you that you had to be, because that was the way that they always saw a little kid behaving. You start to be in the right place at the right time. That’s what I would like to get across here, too. So – I’m moving ahead a little bit quickly, so I’m going to go back a little bit.
[00:37:49] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:37:50] Maureen: So now you’re born into that world where, say, your mother’s a little bit highstrung or fearful, and she wants just for you to have a happy life that you feel well-protected. And she thinks, like I did in my asleep state, that micromanaging your life and telling you what to do so other people will approve of you, is gonna make you feel safer and more secure in life.
[00:38:12] Christian: Hm.
[00:38:13] Maureen: But something in you really doesn’t feel good with that. And you came in a strong Spirit, a strong Soul. And all of a sudden you start not resonating with what you’re worried mother says is safe for you. And maybe, if you’re brave enough, you’ll do it right in front of her without caring about her approval-
[00:38:36] Christian: Yeah.
[00:38:37] Maureen: -but you’ll start being more bold and saying things or doing things that break you out of that box and simultaneously might break her out of the box.
[00:38:48] Christian: That feels like a very scary thing to do.
[00:38:50] Maureen: It feels like a very scary thing because again, it’s conditioned into us over and over and over and over again that our parents are the authorities.
[00:38:58] Christian: Hm.
[00:38:58] Maureen: So I was working with high schoolers in my town, after two girls got murdered in my town. And I wound up in the school system working with the kids who were their friends and friends with the kids who killed them.
[00:39:11] Christian: Hm.
[00:39:11] Maureen: And it was really interesting ’cause people would label these kids as “troubled kids.” And I saw them as highly creative but didn’t know it, and so they were thinking they were stupid or dumb ’cause they weren’t playing by the normal rules. And they wound up in this classroom where, in essence, I was teaching them how to tap back into their Great Creator. They had a whole lot of resentment for having been seen as outcasts and things like that, so it was getting to a place where they started to realize, “Oh my God, no one ever taught me this.” Just like you were saying!
[00:39:49] Christian: Yeah.
[00:39:49] Maureen: Like they were really eating it up, you know, they were engaged. And I would say a lot of the same things we’re talking about now. That they have an inner wisdom that is innately kind, peaceful, wise and if they’re in situations, say, what people would consider troubled homes, and they all were, that because of being exposed to this information, they were now more wise and capable than even the adult authority figures in their life.
[00:40:23] Christian: Hm.
[00:40:23] Maureen: So what does that mean? It doesn’t mean that you go fighting your way out of this in life. It means that, because you have this information now, you can tap in, and I taught them ways to connect with themselves via journaling, listening to the voice of their Soul every day, journaling just random words on a page until they got to the core of themselves. Or sitting quietly, I showed them how to meditate – and not this big huge production, just get quiet. Feel the difference between when you’re like performing for the outer world in these confusing, crazy ways that a high schooler could, just because they’re caring so much about peers and things, at the same time, everyone’s feeling lost.
[00:41:06] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:41:07] Maureen: And they started to be more self-referring. They started writing poetry. I, I locked away their pages that they would write in their journal and told them, I’ll never look at this. No one’s gonna look at this. If you just want to curse three pages, that’s okay. Let it out on the page, it’s between you and you, but you’re going to come to a place where you start tapping this part of you that just wanted to get your attention all this time. But It’s loving and peaceful and kind, so it’s not going to badger you, or use those voices you sometimes use with yourself telling you you’re a jerk or you’re not enough, or you’re not worthy. It never speaks like that. It always speaks of all your capacity and everything that you might not have tapped yet so you might not have experienced it, but it’s you. So once they started tapping it and having some experience of it, they’d go home. And often they were met with really dysfunctional situations. And I remember one kid came to school – came after school, by the way, these kids were not coming to class, they were dropping out of school and yet they would come after school to talk – and he was saying how , he was really understanding all of this. By the way, he wasn’t even in this school. His girlfriend brought him so that he could hear it because he was having such a hard time. And he was on his way – I had done a lot of work in prisons before this – and so he was on his way to prison, essentially. And it wasn’t because he was a bad person, it’s because he was looking for this outer approval and had all these expectations that he felt he was dropped, or why would he ever be in this situation? So his father was an alcoholic, and he was a kid who naturally loved making things. So I said, that’s your Creative Self. He liked construction. He liked fixing cars. He just naturally was good at it. I said there, that’s your creativity. You can create. Well, okay, so he started to actually do over the bathroom in his house.
[00:43:13] Christian: Oh wow.
[00:43:14] Maureen: And one day his father came home drunk, and he said, “I heard him stumbling up the stairs, and when he came in, I was laying tile on the floor. And he started yelling and cursing, ‘What the hell are you doing?'” And he grabbed some of the tools and started hitting him with it. And he said, “You know what? It didn’t even bother me. It was the first time where I could see him with compassionate eyes because I was doing something that I loved and I realized I was his teacher.”
[00:43:52] Christian: Wow.
[00:43:53] Maureen: “That I was doing something I loved and you know, he always yelled and cursed at me that he hated his job. He never did anything he loved. So I was showing him how to do something you love just because you love it.” There was story after story after story like that. That was the way I helped these kids be seeing their True Self and be liberated in that moment. They hadn’t, didn’t have to go to some big ashram or go off to meditate for 10 years. In our own lives, lies all the answers to our liberation. So all they needed to hear, the most valuable nugget I taught them, was when you have this wisdom, you become the teacher.
[00:44:37] Christian: Hm.
[00:44:37] Maureen: And the way you best teach is by embodying it. Sometimes people can’t hear you with words, but you can embody it for other people and when you are feeling that connection, it naturally feels fulfilling and joyful and happy and creative and alive. And even if they’re hugely disconnected like, who’s going to hit their kid, you know, with a tool-
[00:45:03] Christian: Yeah…
[00:45:04] Maureen: -unless they’re feeling completely disconnected? Even if they’re completely disconnected, you can then see why they feel so bad to be able to do, like, something like that to their own loved one. And it puts it in a perspective that’s much wider. It makes your life much more important, much more valuable. So no matter if his father continued to have that behavior, he would make right choices, staying tapped into himself. Without the expectations of someone else, but with an expectation that you innately are loved just because that’s who you are. And you start to tap into that voice for your affirmation and for your awareness, then you start to know that you can expect the outer circumstances to change. You threw that out in front of you, that – “I don’t know, my father is still drinking and my father is still violent at times, but I’m knowing that if I go with my Inner Voice, I won’t be in his path when he’s doing it. I’ll be somewhere else having fun with my friends that aren’t violent and that are making wiser choices. ‘Cause now I resonate with a different group of people. I’m not on the trajectory to prison where there’s going to be more people like my father having more trouble. I can have compassion for him, I’m no longer sucked in by judgment into his world. I’m no longer powerless, not because of my father, but because I disconnected myself.”
[00:46:36] Christian: Hm.
[00:46:36] Maureen: If we’re not tapped into Who we really are, believe me, we’re powerless. And then your assessment of yourself as being powerless is absolutely accurate because you disconnected. Not because of the situation outside. So again, just clarifying this whole little shift. It’s a small shift, but a major shift in perception – and that’s how miracles happen, by the way, is by our shifting perception. So look at the miracle then, he went home, you know what he did? He finished the bathroom. And then, you know, his father came home not drunk one day and was appreciative. I mean, even a teeny little spot of a Ray of Sun meant everything. That was a major victory for him because he already knew he wasn’t going to leave home. He wasn’t gonna leave his own home within him. That he didn’t have to necessarily leave home just cause he had a violent father because he was tapped into his true home first and foremost. That’s when somebody can say, you know, I can’t believe I’ve been doing this to you. I can see who you are. When someone turns on the light in themselves, it’s essentially like turning on a light in the room. Anybody else who is touched by you in that moment is in the light.
[00:47:53] Christian: Hm.
[00:47:53] Maureen: No matter if they’re completely dead drunk. They can feel it because we, tapped into ourselves, naturally get other people to see something that they normally don’t recognize in themselves.
[00:48:10] Christian: That’s a very important lesson to learn.
[00:48:14] Maureen: That gives us the resilience to not need other people’s good or bad opinions or the expectations of other people’s, you know, um, adoring us or loving us for our own genuine, authentic actions.
[00:48:29] Christian: That sounds like complete freedom, to me.
[00:48:32] Maureen: That’s the point here. You know, miracles are part of the path of complete freedom. They pave the way. Things will happen in that boy’s father’s world, that will compel him to make changes even without his son doing anything but staying tapped in. Sincerely. When we tap into this, other people’s worlds around us change. And they can be in great resistance, you know, it’s like the guy in the post office. “Why are you always smiling? Oh my God, it’s you. You’re smiling.” What is that? Why do people resist happiness here? It’s because we think we were dropped and we were left out. The moment we get to that place where we start consistently tapping into something that’s deeper without the good or bad opinions of other people on it, or anyone else’s great expectations on us, we get our own great expectation that when we tap in, this wellspring of everything we ever wanted to live in life is going to be there. And it becomes very evident to us then. But this is co-creation, folks. This is co-creation. Our Divinity of us just is awesome, but it’s not gonna push and nudge its way forward in our life. It wants to co-create with us.
[00:49:54] Christian: Hm.
[00:49:54] Maureen: So we have to be accepting of this part of ourselves before it becomes evident.
[00:50:01] Christian: So are you saying this is like a partnership?
[00:50:04] Maureen: It’s the partnership that most people on earth don’t know exists. That’s so completely full of equanimity and respect and love, utmost love, that it says constantly, “You know, you’re Me by the way. But if you don’t believe it, I’ll wait.”
[00:50:25] Christian: Hm.
[00:50:26] Maureen: It’s not forcing anything. But at the same time its very joy exists in co-creating with us.
[00:50:35] Christian: Hm.
[00:50:36] Maureen: It wants to be complete equals because it knows that it’s awesome and how happy you would be on a day to day basis if all you did was just relax and connect with it. And once you do, then you get to be the eyes and the hands and the feet and the ears on earth because it’s a nebulous zone, you know? It doesn’t appear to be apparent or real until you embody it.
[00:51:04] Christian: Yeah.
[00:51:05] Maureen: So you’re just like the body who brings it around.
[00:51:09] Christian: Or creates the bathroom.
[00:51:11] Maureen: Right. Creates love out of hate or love out of hell or compassion out of fear.
[00:51:18] Christian: Hm.
[00:51:18] Maureen: And creates the lovely life that you’re meant to live. And I will tell you this. The thing that’s most inspiring to most people is when someone’s had a real hell of a story. Especially in their beginnings. I always tell the kids who come to me, you know, some who wanted to commit suicide for years, that the brightest souls sometimes had the most challenging contrasts in the beginning of their life because they get to choose heaven out of hell.
[00:51:47] Christian: Mm.
[00:51:47] Maureen: What does that make you for the rest of your life? What does that make you for the rest of your life? Look how awesome you are. You put yourself in hell when you came here. Because you were like that baby in the, in the mother’s womb who just knew, Ah, what’s going on out there? She forgets who she is. ‘Cause you know, I get it. I’m still tapped in completely. So all of us can just take a big deep sigh of relief right now, that no one, NO ONE, has been left out.
[00:52:19] Christian: Hmm.
[00:52:20] Maureen: That all of us have this capacity to just relax and then we’ll win. But the expectation that something in the outer world is going to give it to us, and have that be sustainable – it might work for a few minutes, a few days, a few hours. But if it’s not completely connected to the True Self of us, it’s going to say, “Okay. I’ll wait. I’ll wait. That might keep you really satisfied or thinking you’re successful for a long time, even though it’s completely the opposite of what you really love and really know feels like your best, best, best life. But I’m still here. Not going anywhere. Can’t. I’ll be here eternally. So play it out, have at it. The only thing going on is you’re going to learn what you do and don’t like from all the contrasts that appear in your life. And then if you listen to Me from time to time, you’ll at least know that you have a wisdom to discern what’s in your best interest. I’m only the Voice of your best interest. I want win-win. I want us arriving fully on earth. Team effort. Team effort-less-ness. Team effortlessness, more accurately. So funny question. Why do we resist that so much? If you were looking at your life, maybe not knowing you resisted it up until now, what would you say the answer to that question was? Why had you resisted your own Supremely Awesome Self since you were a young kid?
[00:54:07] Christian: I didn’t have a chance to see it.
[00:54:10] Maureen: Mm.
[00:54:11] Christian: No one’s ever pointed it out to me. You know? Coming from the suburbs, it was kind of like a dying suburb, there were a lot of kids in a classroom. My mom had three kids and an autistic kid. There was not like a lot of attention. And the people who I have surrounded myself with kind of come from the same situation. It’s really hard to see this, this thing, this Inner Wisdom, this Inner Beauty…only came out recently to me, and it’s only because I gave myself space and time to see it and acknowledge it.
[00:54:47] Maureen: And I would also say, probably more importantly, you gave yourself the space and time to “fail”.
[00:54:54] Christian: Yeah.
[00:54:54] Maureen: According to the ego it would have been fail.
[00:54:57] Christian: Yes.
[00:54:57] Maureen: But according to your soul, it was cool. You’re here to experience, bro. You’re here to experience. So look at that. Did you like that? No? Okay, choose differently!
[00:55:09] Christian: Yeah.
[00:55:09] Maureen: Did you like this? Good! That’s what you like, so let’s go towards that. And it was just busy – not judging and not assessing your every move as good or bad – it was just watching you enjoy experience, which is what the world affords.
[00:55:28] Christian: Yeah.
[00:55:28] Maureen: Which is what the spirit of us values. In the real world of spirit, it’s like, that’s okay. You’re not going to take anything with you anyway – except for all the love and the joy and the beauty and the bliss that you experienced. That goes along with you. But other than that, the stuff… have fun with it. Play with it. As long as it’s a vehicle for transcendence, as long as it’s a vehicle for more love, more joy, more fun. Cool.
[00:56:01] Christian: Hm.
[00:56:02] Maureen: We love that there’s something you can touch and taste and feel and experience fun with. But if it’s going to bring problems or pain ’cause that fun is finite, or that fun is unreachable or unattainable, then don’t go there.
[00:56:20] Christian: Hm.
[00:56:20] Maureen: Just keep coming back to your True Self and will guide you exactly where to find the pile of everything you ever wanted. The pile of it. So much of it that you want to give it away. And that’s the funny thing that most people aren’t realizing – is the opportunity for all of us. Relax the grip. Just take your hands and shake them right now, and notice that you might have clenched fist and not even know it.
[00:56:44] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:56:45] Maureen: That you might have a tight jaw and not even know it because you’re like, what do I say next? What do I do next? What do I grab next? What do I hold on to next? Tight belly, because that’s where your power is and you’re holding it in and constricting it. Think about how tired your eyes get cause you’re busy assessing and judging things away all the time. And, and judging away a lot of the graces that are there, put right in front of you, but you would judge it away. So, of course we’re hard on ourselves because we feel this innate knowing that we’re responsible for our pain.
[00:57:22] Christian: Yeah.
[00:57:22] Maureen: I want to address that for a minute ’cause it’s so important. Our egos are responsible for our pain. The part of us that’s not real is responsible for our pain because it keeps telling us we’re separate from the peace of who we are and the wisdom of who we are and the joy and the grace – all the good things of who we are. The Creative, the Great Creative that we are. And so, because it wants center stage all the time and because it wants to drive the machine your- your body everywhere, it doesn’t have the connection or discernment. But we don’t have to hate the ego just because it’s always messing up things.
[00:58:01] Christian: Mm.
[00:58:01] Maureen: We just have to look at it with compassion and say: hmm, just like that little puppy that doesn’t know any better, it’s ripping up the papers that it’s supposed to pee on. It’s peeing in the wrong places. It’s chewing up the shoes. It’s doing all kinds of things that it thinks is fun, that it thinks is the way you’re supposed to do this. Until you realize that you can say, okay, let’s just show this ego that I’m in charge here now. The Real Me’s in charge, and you can have fun with me. You can go to these same places, but you’re not going to be making chaos everywhere you go. You’re going to actually be bringing more than you thought you ever were, and you’re going to be in a space where you’re a real asset in any experience. So at best, with that puppy, you’re teaching it that it’s a really great companion.
[00:58:52] Christian: Mm.
[00:58:52] Maureen: That it’s really fun to be around and you can have all kinds of fun, even maybe even take it off a leash if it learns how to respond to the love and joy that you can offer it.
[00:59:02] Christian: Now that sounds like a dream.
[00:59:03] Maureen: You know?
[00:59:03] Christian: Yeah.
[00:59:03] Maureen: That it can actually run free and run right back. You see that sometimes in parks and things with a dog who loves to play – runs out with the ball, but brings it back.
[00:59:11] Christian: Mmhm.
[00:59:12] Maureen: Knows that the Source of what is going to make it have a happy time knows where to throw the ball for the most fun too.
[00:59:20] Christian: Hm.
[00:59:21] Maureen: So it can be joyful. That’s the point I really want to get across for everybody, is that a miraculous life is truly nothing but fun. That’s the other quality that people don’t know that the Soul has that’s, like, up front and center. Once you start listening to this Voice of your own best interest, it steers you towards fun.
[00:59:42] Christian: Hm.
[00:59:42] Maureen: As long as you are saying, “I’m in. I’m ready for fun.” As long as it doesn’t promote fear. The one thing that the Soul will never do is promote fear. So, think of this. While you’re a child and you’re just conditioned into the experience that adult authorities know more, and it seems really viable since you’re a smaller body and they’re a bigger body…
[01:00:09] Christian: Yeah.
[01:00:09] Maureen: …and they have more stuff than you have. So we’re conditioned to believe that going along with what they do will bring us safety and security and love and approval, and if we meet their expectations then we’re going to be okay in the world. And then one day it shifts. Now, if at that age, every teenager learned that they’re an authority and how to go with their Wisdom, truly sincerely go with their Wisdom? Oh my gosh. Would the world shift.
[01:00:40] Christian: Hm.
[01:00:40] Maureen: Because they wouldn’t be then doing all kinds of dysfunctional stuff for fun, just because the rest of the worlds is dysfunctional now, so we’ve got to like squeeze ourselves into that box. So why don’t we just be as dysfunctional as possible right now because it makes us fit in? And then we’ll squeeze into an even more dysfunctional box and feel at home there. Maybe. But if they really understood that they still had that degree of fun and innocence innately still in them, you know, every teenager still wants to have fun like they did when they were a little kid. But they can’t remember how they did that. How did they not feel that they had to perform all the time? How did they innately go towards fun, just because that’s what they were innately connected with.
[01:01:27] Christian: Hm.
[01:01:28] Maureen: And if we teach teenagers that they might have a better handle on what’s joyful than what adults do right now, then maybe they’d claim some of that authority like kids are doing when they’re, you know, marching for causes that are really important or making their voices be heard for things like diversity, that they really, really core-deep resonate with when maybe their elders are still in places of disconnect and prejudice and missing the boat on that one.
[01:01:59] Christian: Yeah, we’re going through Pride right now and I’ve been through the parades the last couple of years- this one was the biggest. And it felt like a true accepting movement.
[01:02:09] Maureen: And young people being involved. Because it’s truly about gay – joy gay!
[01:02:14] Christian: Yeah.
[01:02:14] Maureen: In the way that they used to say it in the 1800s. Where people really recognize that being yourself is just plain fun.
[01:02:22] Christian: Hm.
[01:02:23] Maureen: If you’re around people who are not judging that away. And the people who don’t judge it away? What more fulfilling lives they have without all these expectations from other people on them. That they can just live and let live.
[01:02:37] Christian: Hm.
[01:02:38] Maureen: And in that liberation of live and let live, they get to live a more exponentially amazing life that’s full of all kinds of things that were unforeseen before. That’s how we expand the awareness on the planet – by letting ourselves know that we can expand in joy and love rather than all this drudgery and hard work, the laws and things that weigh us down.
[01:03:04] Christian: Yeah.
[01:03:04] Maureen: That make us think or believe that these authorities have more awareness of what’s in our best interest than our own innate capacity to tap into that ourselves.
[01:03:16] Christian: Yeah. Yeah. That’s probably the biggest misnomer I had, while growing up. That I thought people knew what was going on…
[01:03:28] Maureen: Or that everyone was happy.
[01:03:30] Christian: Yeah.
[01:03:30] Maureen: I thought everyone was happy before I woke up and then all the people were coming to me to find out how do you be happy? And I was like, what!? I thought that – because again, I was in the world of being a commercial actor and a model, I was doing the “bite and smile” for commercials – I thought that people were all happy but me. So at least if I, you know, bit the whatever it was and smiled for the commercial that I was sometimes looking like I was smiling genuinely, but it was all an act.
[01:03:59] Christian: Yeah it’s like fake it till you make it kind of deal. And that doesn’t work.
[01:04:02] Maureen: No, it doesn’t work because you’re looking outside of yourself in the faking rather than just sitting and doing freaking nothing.
[01:04:10] Christian: Hm.
[01:04:11] Maureen: Where you’re just being with yourself until you finally tap into that place that appreciates you for doing nothing because you are innately amazing and awesome, but you are the only one missing out on that when you never arrived.
[01:04:27] Christian: Yeah.
[01:04:28] Maureen: So I want to go back for a moment, just to clarify this again for people who are feeling like they’re just jumping into something that they might feel is really important to them, but they’re not really getting a handle on it entirely yet.
[01:04:40] Christian: Hm.
[01:04:40] Maureen: So, back when you were younger and you felt that the expectations of other people were influencing your choices and decisions in life, and even your own expectations were influencing your life, but in a wannabe way.
[01:04:57] Christian: Mmhm.
[01:04:59] Maureen: Tell me how that felt for people who are listening, so maybe they can identify this within themselves or not.
[01:05:07] Christian: Hm.
[01:05:09] Maureen: How did that feel when your life was full of expectations? When you were in that space being led by all kinds of expectations, your own and other people?
[01:05:18] Christian: Yeah. I felt heavy. I felt like I was always in mud.
[01:05:21] Maureen: Can you say why?
[01:05:25] Christian: It felt like, uh… It’s hard to explain, but it was – I was very confused. I saw success in front of me and these people would impose their own successes on me, but deep down inside I knew I was a little bit different. But I didn’t have the courage to speak up.
[01:05:44] Maureen: Hm.
[01:05:45] Christian: And with that, I just kind of burrowed in and followed the pack. But it always felt very heavy. Like no matter how much I worked out, no matter how much I ran, no matter what I ate, all the tapes I listened to or like the inspiration, it always felt like it was outside of me. Like I was carrying around a bunch of suitcases for other people.
[01:06:11] Maureen: Really cool way of putting it, “carrying around a lot of suitcases for other people.” Because someone asked me when I woke up, what does it feel like? And I said, I can see how people call this enlightenment because it feels like a light went on in the attic. Like in my mind. My mind feels illuminated so that I don’t have to think of this and that anymore. It was like one big opening and awakening to: Everything’s just fine. The less you think about it, the more it’s going to work out great. Just keep yourself open to everything and attached to nothing. And so the mind felt like it was light and full of light and I felt like I took a big backpack of rocks off my back so that it was lighter. The journey got lighter.
[01:06:59] Christian: Hm.
[01:07:00] Maureen: And I could see how that concept of enlightenment seems like another thing to attain, another thing to achieve or to go for.
[01:07:11] Christian: Yeah.
[01:07:12] Maureen: And that’s why it seems so evasive for so many people. No one really comprehends the degree of impact we have on our own lives because of how we’re perceiving things. The whole story begins and ends within us about anything going on outside. So those expectations outside, keep us from this self-referring capacity to be innately tapped into wisdom and a sense of safety and security that’s so formidable that we know we’re going to be Guided to what’s in our best interest. As long as we keep this open mind that’s just only focused on peace as a priority, only focused on love and joy as a priority, and watch how that arrives. It doesn’t mean that we’re like, you know, it could sound like you’re a little bit brain dead or something, that you’re not making choices and things. Instead, what it is is you’re having tendencies that lean – a gentle leaning – not this need or obsession or driven nature.
[01:08:28] Christian: Hm.
[01:08:29] Maureen: You have more of a gentle leaning towards the things you truly, deeply resonate with. It comes to you. Sincerely. Our True Self is very magnetic. This miraculous nature we have is a very magnetic. So when your mind is opened – that circle – but you have a focus from the center on what feels most resonant with you – that dot in the center – there’s nowhere to go. It’s a circle. It’s complete.
[01:08:59] Christian: Hm.
[01:08:59] Maureen: So you’re living within the circle of completion, focused deliberately on the dot of what you want that feels connected already. Then it feels like you already have where you’re going and pretty soon it collapses time and space and anything that you truly, deeply resonate with on that level appears in your life without you struggling or striving or working really hard. Like a lot of people who are well-meaning would tell you is the path to accomplishment or how you can expect success.
[01:09:39] Christian: Very beautifully put. Uh, and one final question.
[01:09:44] Maureen: Mmhm.
[01:09:45] Christian: How can you come to terms with what you actually want? Like, the expectation of being successful looks the same for a lot of people, and seeing those things – like especially if you’re in a situation where you need those outside things – how can you come to terms with what you need against what the outside world is telling you?
[01:10:11] Maureen: Okay. So, first of all, you have to know that what the outside world tells you is always going to be always, underline always, going to be an ever-evasive carrot on a stick.
[01:10:23] Christian: Mm.
[01:10:23] Maureen: And that’s not because this is a big, bad God running the show or anything like that. It’s because we’re evolving. This never ends.
[01:10:32] Christian: Mm.
[01:10:32] Maureen: So every time someone attains success, notice there’s going to be a greater success.
[01:10:40] Christian: Yeah.
[01:10:40] Maureen: You’re never going to make an “ultimate success” because we will then evolve to the next level of whatever it is. So if your mind thinks that you’re going to attain the “ultimate success”, it’s leading you down a path that will ultimately feel unsuccessful.
[01:10:59] Christian: Yeah.
[01:11:00] Maureen: Unless you’re always feeling successful by doing what it is that feels most innately connected, that you love, that brings you joy, that makes you feel innately peaceful just in the day-to-day accomplishment of it, that makes you feel as though not only are you worthy, but you’re living what it is that makes you most joyful and excited. Then you show up to success, after success, after success, really, truly, without attaching to the results or expectations, and it just feels that that’s the way life is.
[01:11:36] Christian: Hmm.
[01:11:36] Maureen: It’s not a thinking thing that can get you there. It’s truly a state of being. It’s knowing that as long as you stay connected to who you truly are then you’re going to arrive at a place that feels really good and amazing, even if it isn’t what you expected. And most often it’s not going to be, by the way. The Divine loves to surprise and delight us. So there’ll always be a side door, a back door. There’ll be ways that bring it to you so much faster and so much more interestingly than you would ever imagine. So this is an important point in that: what you focus on, you get more of. If you’re constantly in a state of expectation and it’s the carrot on the stick, then you’re going to be constantly dissatisfied because you’re focusing on getting something someday that feels like you’re not connected to it now.
[01:12:27] Christian: Hm.
[01:12:29] Maureen: And then that means you’re not connected.
[01:12:31] Christian: Yeah.
[01:12:32] Maureen: So if you’re in the space where you first and foremost connect in the morning, “Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say and to whom. I will to do it.” All your willpower, put all your willpower in this, not your head, it’s your gut. “I will to do this and nothing more.” Nothing more so that the ego doesn’t have any way to edge it’s way in.
[01:12:52] Christian: Mmhm.
[01:12:54] Maureen: Then you’re going to feel tapped in, and it might be, again, that you decide to slow roast the coffee that morning, and that just so happens to make the accident that was happening two blocks away that was backing up traffic be gone by the time you get out the door. And if you start to pay attention, you’ll really, truly get into that state where life just feels so benevolent. And it’s only because you’re tapped into and tuning into and focusing on where peace originates from and you’re bringing it to the world.
[01:13:33] Christian: Hm.
[01:13:34] Maureen: So I’m not saying that you, in this state of being, wouldn’t necessarily have traffic. But you’ll notice by not judging it and showing up knowing that you’re connected, that it might be because turn to your left and you’re going to see your neighbor that grew up next to you who you were thinking about yesterday who’s in the car and you haven’t seen him in 20 years.
[01:13:57] Christian: Yeah.
[01:13:58] Maureen: The Divine keeps giving you signposts, by the way, that you’re always connected. It loves to play with you. In the yogic tradition they would say, all the chakras are open – that’s the wheels of energy within the physical body, that’s for another episode – but they would say, from top to bottom, all your chakras are open. And what I say is that it’s a feeling of being a real wise-ass. It’s funny, the Divine is really funny. It’ll give you the big picture in one second. Just yesterday I was looking at things for a logo, the logo of the work that I do. I often use a lightning bolt because, um, it’s bringing heaven to earth. So that’s a really good symbol for that. And also what we spoke about in the beginning of this podcast, that when a lightning bolt happens, it’s not a sense of you learned something, it’s a knowing. You know it, you don’t have to learn it. It’s not incremental. It’s just, there’s that whole picture lit up. And so I was thinking about lightning bolts and I happened to be on a little bit of a rabbit hole looking at lightning bolt things. Then I went for a walk in the park while I was talking to a client, and all these people had lightening bolt shirts on in front of me, and the next thing I knew there was a kid who had a lightning bolt on his little wheeler-thing and, and there were lightning bolts everywhere. And for me, that’s just the way the Divine speaks, that wise-assy way that, when you’re connected, they’re letting you know it’s not about the lightning bolts, it’s about giving you the assurance that, yep, you’re tapped in now.
[01:15:30] Christian: Hm.
[01:15:30] Maureen: Just stay on this vein. This is where you want to stay. And when you’re staying on that vein, then you’ll see how things come to you much, much, much more effortlessly.